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Lie.

“So you’ve been with another alpha?” I pry, and he growls.

“Stop talking.”

“A beta?”

His cheeks darken.

“I’ve never seen anyone do it that way,” I admit, thoughtful and curious. A spark of my inner child peeks through. But mostly, I want to know if he replaced me. If that’s why he’s so horrible. “The council has mates, but obviously, they’re all omegas and sequestered away. I think Horris only brought his mate to dinner once.”

“Only leeches are traditionalists,” he says before taking an aggressive sip of water from his canteen. “It’s a myth that humans can’t find satisfaction outside their designation.”

“But you’re not human,” I point out.

Locking his jaw stubbornly, he flares his nostrils. “Why do you want to know this stuff? What’s it to you?”

Because you were mine.

I almost say it, too.

Even though it’s been years, I still feel that connection. At my lowest, I chalked it up to our designations. Alpha and omega. We lived together, slept side by side, spent almost every minute in each other’s space. How could I not form attachments? But I’ve also lived with Matthias, had similar forced proximity, and never once felt anything but uncontrollable disdain. My one intimate experience had been manipulated, controlled, and forced.

Not that I ever fantasized about what I should have had, but I think deep down I hoped I could have those things one day. A heat with an alpha who loved me.

But I’m 22, and that still hasn’t happened…

“Forget it,” I whisper, breaking eye contact and shimmying into my sleeping bag.

Once I’m flat on the ground, I sneak a glance at him. A few beats pass before he does the same. Our eyes lock, and something like resignation fills his face. Leaning back on his elbows, Ryx sighs heavily.

“There was someone,” he tells me, voice a soft rasp. “It didn’t last long.”

“A human?”

He shakes his head. “Worse.”

“Worse?” What could be worse? Someone like him? Nina did say something about an infection…

A bitter laugh leaves him as he looks up at the night sky. “A half-breed. Before him, I didn’t know those existed.”

I shoot upright like I’ve been electrocuted. My heart thumps painfully as a potent strike of jealousy slams into me. “You were with a Telex?”

“We moved around a lot for those first few years. I ran into another group, and he was with them. It was only a few weeks before things ran their course.”

I have to know. I have to hear it with my own two ears. “Was he an omega?”

Ryx hesitates. His eyes find mine. I don’t need to hear his thoughts to know what he’ll say. I hate that my lip quivers and my stomach sinks. “He had green eyes.” He says it like an apology.

“Was he an omega, Ryx?” With a womb and a scent and everything I don’t have.

“Yes.”

“Seems it’s not just Telex who are traditionalists,” I spit, flop back down, and slam my eyes shut.

***

We’ve been walking for miles. After the disastrous conversation last night, neither of us is particularly chatty. It’s my own fault for asking. I could’ve spent the rest of my life blissfully ignorant of the one he’s lived without me. Because while I was trapped, stuck in an ever-present loop of memories, he forgot all about me. Us. Whatever bits remained, he twisted into this current version where I’m his enemy and nothing else.