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“I can’t believe how talented you are, and I can’t believe out of everything you could’ve created, you’d choose my face.”
“I create what inspires me,” he said. “There’s nothing in my life right now that inspires me more than you. And I miss you, so it was another way to get to look at your face while I can’t have it right in front of me.”
My chest swelled with longing. “I’m honored.”
“I’ve been practicing you for some time, actually. I’m happy you recognized yourself. I was worried maybe you wouldn’t get it. That would’ve bummed me out.”
There was so much I needed to say to him—but one particular thing took priority. “Rafe…”
“Yeah, baby?”
“I love you.” I closed my eyes. “I’m sorry I didn’t say it back last night. I didn’t want you to think that I was only saying it to reciprocate. It also didn’t feel like the right time to tell you with Calder vomiting in the background. I—”
“I know you love me, Talia.”
I placed my hand on my chest. “You do?”
“I do.”
“How?”
“It’s a feeling. It’s the way you look at me. The way you make me feel. You’ve also risked a lot to be with me. People don’t do that if they don’t love someone. You know?” He exhaled. “We might’ve been reckless, but neither one of us is the type of person to keep hurting someone for no damn reason. What we have is real, and I refuse to feel shame for it, even if I’ll always regret hurting my friend.”
“I love you,” I repeated. “I mean that with all my heart.”
“I don’t throw around those words lightly. I hope you know I mean it, too. I need you to believe that. Especially while we’re apart.” He paused. “And especially with what I have to tell you right now.”
What? “Okay…” My stomach sank. “What’s going on?”
“From what I gathered at the first meeting, they’re thinking of a more permanent residency for me here. Something that would last at least a year.”
My mouth opened and closed as I struggled with a response. “That’s wonderful.” I really wanted to be happy for him, but fear made it hard to breathe.
“You really think that’s wonderful? Because I’m not sure how to feel. It would be a lot of money. But is this the direction I want to take my career? I never intended to be a commercial artist. But the money they throw at you makes it really hard not to sell out.”
“Did you tell them yes already?”
“Well, I wasn’t going to do that without talking to you first. But also, it wouldn’t be immediate. They need time to plan for it and scout a location. I’ll have some time when I get back to New York to decide before I’d have to come out here again.” He sighed. “I like Vegas enough so far, but it’s not home. I miss you like crazy already, and it wouldn’t be good for us in the long term if I stayed out here. So it’s a lot to think about.”
I couldn’t help feeling I might be holding him back from a big opportunity. “Well, suppose I wasn’t a factor. What would you want then…in an ideal world?”
“There’s no point in thinking about that, Talia. You are a factor—the biggest factor. In an ideal world, though? You’d be here with me. But don’t take that to mean I’m asking you to go anywhere. It’s a fantasy. Your job is as important as mine, and I wouldn’t ask you to leave it when you only just started.”
My job. Right, the one I need to get back to. I looked at the time. “My break is over. I have to run, Rafe.”
“Let’s talk more later, okay?”
“Okay.”
“I love you, Talia.”
I closed my eyes, cherishing the feeling those words elicited. “I love you, too.”
I returned to work with renewed focus. But that peace would be short-lived.
***
After I got home that evening, I was startled by a notification on my phone. My period app had signaled that I was late. My gut clenched. I’d been so preoccupied with life recently that I’d forgotten about my cycle. And I wasn’t just late… I hadn’t gotten my period in two months.
