Page 17

“Andrew. Hey. Can we talk?”

“It’s a little late for talking,” I said belligerently.

She cocked her head and looked at me. “Are you drunk?”

“Are you?”

Katy blinked. “Wow, I’ve never seen you like this. I have to tell you, it’s not a good look for you.”

I loved that she didn’t take any shit from anyone, including me.

“You know what’s also not a good look?” I griped. “When you tell a woman you love her, and she runs away without a word.”

“I know. I’m so sorry Andrew, you did not deserve that. I freaked out and obviously didn’t handle things as well as I would have liked to if I was thinking more clearly.”

I stabbed my fingers into my hair, pulling lightly to keep myself grounded.

“Look it’s fine. I get it. You don’t feel anything for me. Message received.”

My stomach was roiling again as my burger threatened to come back on me.

She looked at the ground and spoke so softly I almost missed it. “The problem is that I think I do feel something for you.”

I froze, all my attention focused on her now. “What?”

Katy lifted her gaze to mine. “I have, uh, feelings for you and it freaks me the fuck out, okay? My longest relationship lasted two months. I’m not good with emotions or feelings. I don’t even know what to do with all these thoughts that are coming up.”

The shattered pieces of my heart started fusing back together in my chest.

I surged forward and pulled her into my arms, pressing her head against my shoulder and hugging her tight.

“We don’t have to figure it all out tonight, baby. We’ve got time. Just don’t shut me out, okay?”

She nodded. It felt like progress.

“Can you do something for me?” I asked. “It’s okay for you to say no if you’re not comfortable.”

“What?”

“Will you sleep with me tonight? Just sleep, nothing else. I want to know what it feels like to wake up with you in my arms.”

“It probably feels like you’re holding a middle-aged woman rushing away to pee and brush her teeth,” she joked weakly.

What I was asking was a gamble. It would be tortuous to have her next to me and not be able to make love to her. But I had this instinct that if we could create a sense of intimacy without sex, maybe she would open up to me. Give me a chance.

“Let’s just go to bed and snuggle, okay?”

She nodded, but I could tell she still thought I was crazy. “Fair warning, I’ve never been much of a snuggler.”

Big shock there.

“Fortunately for you, the Lawsons are expert snugglers. I’ll teach you our ways.”

Katy seemed dubious.

“Come on, you’ll love it,” I cajoled.

She shook her head, then nodded and laughed. “Okay then. Let me get ready for bed.”

I was already in bed when Katy showed up ten or fifteen minutes later. She’d changed into a pair of sleep pants with a Tasmanian Devil print, thick socks, and a University of Colorado sweatshirt that looked like it had seen better days. Her hair was down and freshly brushed, and she was wearing tortoise shell glasses. She looked adorable. And a little nervous.

“You wear glasses?” I said in surprise. “I did not know this about you.”

“Only at night. I wear contacts during the day.”

I lifted the blankets on the other side of the bed.

“I hope you are okay with this side because I feel pretty strongly about being on this side of the bed.” I said it in an overly dramatic voice, hoping for a smile, then felt relieved when I got one.

“As part of my job I’ve slept in trucks and in tents in the forest and all kinds of crazy places,” she said. “I guess I’ll be able to muddle through on this side of the bed.”

She slipped under the blankets, laying on her back in a rigid posture staring at the ceiling. Without a word I scooted closer, then turned her so she was laying with her head on my chest, my arm around her back.

“That’s better,” I said softly.

Then I pressed a gentle kiss on the top of her head and promptly fell asleep.