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Why would someone as godlike as him stay with me if he isn’t a mindless robot?
“You’re not ready for this. First we’ll fix your mental. Then you can help me as much as you want.” His naughty smile returned. “You will have many chances.”
“It’s okay, I…”
“It’s not okay for me.”
“Why?” My voice rose.
I had never done anything worthwhile for him. On the contrary, it was probably more accurate to say that I mistreated him for years. Raymond was right: I was rarely kind to him. Since I thought he was a robot, I didn’t hesitate to show him my ugliest sides. My cruelest sides. I almost felt sorry for him. What exactly did he love about me?
What a pitiful boy… He deserved better than me. No. Anyone but me. I should never have done this to him.
But why couldn’t I walk away? Why couldn’t I stop being a witch? I needed to protect Remi from my doomed destruction, after all. Then why…
I truly hated myself.
“I was wrong. I’ve been wrong ever since you harmed yourself. I should have given you time.” He swallowed visibly, bowed his head and drew in a deep breath. “You need to feel your pain. Your anger. Your disappointment. I shouldn’t be taking these things from you. I thought I’d be enough for you. If I gave you my attention, if I made you feel seen, you’d be okay. But I’m not good for you, I know that now.”
He rested his forehead against my collarbone, his hair falling against my skin. H took a long breath, his back lifting with it. Then I caught his faint sniffle. I gently lifted his chin, bringing us face to face as I studied his features.
There it was again: that familiar crinkle around his eyes, the subtle quiver of his lips, yet not a single tear fell.
“Raymond… you can’t cry?” My brows knit together as he gave a slow nod. “Why?”
“My tear ducts were removed so the wiring in my eyes wouldn’t rust.”
Even though his matter-of-fact explanation made perfect sense, I shivered. I couldn’t tear my gaze away from that vivid blue iris. I stared into those eyes—eyes I’ve loved since childhood—as if seeing them for the very first time. I couldn’t tell if I was spellbound, or simply trying to acclimate to them out of fear of falling under their spell again.
“Does it hurt?” I blurted out, unable to contain myself. “Your eyes, I mean… Can you even sleep comfortably? Doesn’t it ache? The eye is such a delicate organ. Just imagining wires running through it instead of capillaries…” My voice trailed off, my chest tightening.
“I suppose I’ve grown used to it,” he offered a tentative smile. “Don’t look at me like that, Mina. It comes with its perks.” Seeing my frown, he pressed on eagerly. “For instance, my internal sensors allow me to scan people without needing their identity chips. I can read their body temperatures, pinpoint their vulnerabilities. I’d say it’s rather useful.”
“But it’s not normal,” I said, spitting the words like a curse. Not being able to cry isn’t normal.
“What good is being normal? It serves no purpose to anyone.”
I had no answer for that; I attempted to look away, but he held my chin.
“Mina.”
I dragged my contemplative gaze back to him.
“Even if I’m not normal… Even if I’m of no use to you, even if you don’t want me anymore… can I want you by my side?”
Noticing the slight tremor in his hesitant voice, I wanted to cry. Why did he sound so helpless, so hopeless?
“I think you misunderstand something. It’s not about who you are. I was only angry because you kept it hidden from me all these years.”
“You were?”
He leaned against my shoulder once more, nuzzling like a kitten as he murmured softly.
“You’re not anymore. Your anger is gone.”
“Not quite,” I grumbled, making a feeble attempt to nudge him away, but he wrapped his arms around me again, pulling me tighter.
“Don’t be angry. Don’t torment yourself. I hate seeing you sad. I want you to always smile. Like you used to. I want my Mina back.”