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“Bring her back too, Remi. Please.” I covered my face with my hands as my sobs intensified. The pain in my chest squeezed tighter and tighter, unable to find an outlet. “Why did she go? Why, I don’t understand. Can’t you bring her back? Bring her back, please…”
He held me, but I couldn’t stay on my feet any longer. I sank to the ground, burying my face in my folded arms as I wept.
I couldn’t take it anymore; my emotions were bleeding out. Something was hurting me, but I couldn’t even grasp it. I couldn’t tear it out of myself.
“Why?” I whimpered again and again. “I can’t do this. I just can’t.” I clutched my chest and tugged at my hair, but the black-haired boy stopped me once more.
I wished I didn’t have a heart. I wished I didn’t possess any of these feelings gnawing at me from the inside. If only there were a way to cast out these agonizing, helpless wounds. It was too much—far too much for my small body to bear.
“Why?” I repeated. “Why is everyone dying? Why is everyone leaving?”
If only I could have saved everyone.
If only I were a cool healer—someone who could make everyone smile, wipe away their pain, and reward everyone who felt too small to fight against the world.
As Remi gathered me into his arms and carried me up to my room, I was still sobbing uncontrollably.
I was so weak. So useless. Only now did I realize that butterflies could never carry even a single dead ant.
☾
Raymond
My Mina was broken now.
But what was the problem with that?
If she couldn’t find the strength to gather the broken pieces, she could rest in my embrace. As long as she wished. When she grew too weak to defend her tower, I would conquer the entire building, making every room my own again. She could no longer escape me. I would lock her in there and burn those damned masks in the fire that had been smoldering inside me for years. Perhaps the tower wouldn’t catch as much light as before, but my Mina would be safe.
“You should eat something.”
At my hesitant tone, fury flashed in her eyes.
“Stop talking.” She crawled onto the bed and leaned her back against the wall. “I… don’t like your voice. I don’t want to hear a male voice anymore.”
Just what happened? I pressed my lips together, not wanting to show the storm brewing inside me. If Mina didn’t want to hear me, I would keep my damn mouth shut. I would cut off my tongue if I had to.
Hours passed, I assumed she would sleep through the night, but just before dawn, I heard her faint muttering in the dark.
“Why won’t you leave me alone?”
I stayed silent. She ordered me not to speak, so I had no intention of breaking it until she gave permission.
“Answer me!”
She screamed in pain, as if my lack of a response was what made everything worse.
“You have me.” I murmured, still afraid to speak.
“What?”“
“Because you have me,” I said it again, louder. First time in my life, my voice betrayed me before another person. My throat tightened, but I didn’t stop. “You lost her. But you have me. I’ll never leave you.”
Her face winced, then she looked away. Remorse set in, and I also averted my gaze.
“I get it,” she muttered. “But… go. I don’t want to see you now.”
“I can’t—”