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“Fuck.” I was really losing my shit.

Not losing it that way. Not this time. I was just seeing shit clearly for the first time in months. I had been fuckin’ paranoid since Justice came home. I didn’t want her to see me with her sister because I knew Jamie would choose her over me. It took me months to peel back the layers of her, and once she finally let me in, we started arguing about Justice’s ass.

Every time Jamie’s phone rang, my stomach tightened, and I’d feel sick. Every time she took too long to text me back, my mind started filling in blanks that weren’t there. I just knew she’d confront me at some point about what she might have considered a lie. And I couldn’t have that. I had to get her out of the way. Hopefully, by exposing all the secrets, she’d do the smart thing and fuckin’ leave.

Jamie knows the truth.

I squeezed my eyes shut.

Shut the fuck up.

I understood what happened whenever I entertained the voices. The doctor had warned me about that shit. Silently, acknowledge them, realize they weren’t real, and redirect my thoughts. That strategy worked when the medication was effective. Recently, it hadn’t helped at all. Since Justice came home, the voices had become louder.

She’s going to take Jamie from you.

Jamie loved her sister despite everything Justice had put their family through. The arrests. The embarrassment. The chaos that followed that woman everywhere she went. Jamie still talked about her as if Justice was the most incredible person alive. As if she was so fucking helpless. I’d witnessed Justice code-switch when she was serving time. She was good. She had everyone convinced, but not me.

Get rid of her.

My fingernails dug into my palms.

I said, shut up!

But maybe that voice was right. Justice needed to go. I didn’t necessarily want to hurt her to get Jamie all to myself. I just needed her gone. Hopefully, revealing Chance’s actions would suffice. Justice wasn’t foolish; she was reckless, emotional, but not stupid. Discovering she had been with the wrong twin while Chance deceived her should have made her leave, but if it didn't, I knew her temper had worsened in prison. She was not skilled at managing her anger. All I needed was for her to slip up. A wrong decision, a violation, an assault, or a moment when her temper got the best of her, sending her straight back behind bars. Once that happened, everything could return to normal for Jamie and me.

I noticed pictures taped to Justice’s wall, showcasing memories of her dad, friends, and Jamie. It was early last year when I met Jamie, who reminded me of Justice at her first encounter—sweet and innocent. Unlike Justice, who was more promiscuous, I told Jamie I was visiting a sibling when I saw her leaving the jail. I avoided revealing I was a correctional officer so she wouldn’t mention me to Justice. Plus, I wasn’t sure if Justice had told her sister about me.

When we exchanged numbers, I didn’t lie. It just came out naturally. I told her I was Chase, and it felt good. Everything felt good with her. Before meeting Jamie, I felt mentally stable. I took my medication daily, slept well, kept my appointments, and went to work and back without inner chaos. I felt sane, stable, and normal. Thanks to my meds and Justice being a distraction, I was doing fine.

Then Jamie entered my life, and everything changed. When she smiled at me, I felt a brief moment of silence inside my mind, utterly fuckin’ still. Do you know what silence feels like when your own mind has spent years tormenting you? Jamie felt like peace. Her presence made me feel like I didn’t need those drugs anymore. In her presence, I felt calm and safe. She quieted the waves that were crashing into one another.

So, yeah, I was willing to lie, steal, or cheat to keep Jamie around. To keep her for me, and within months of us dating, I was able to wean myself off the prescribed drugs. I liked the way she looked at me. She wasn’t looking at a man who had to self-medicate himself to appear normal. Nah, she looked at me for me, but I still wasn’t no dummy. I knew I couldn’t compete with her sister.

I just hoped for Justice’s safety, that she took the safe route and exited stage left, expeditiously.

CHAPTER 21

Justice

“Imet your twin today. You raggedy, lyin’ ass nigga! But don’t worry, I’ll burn his house next.” I flipped Chance off as I pulled out of his driveway. And yes, I drove away in his car. He could kiss my ass and eat my fuckin’ shorts.

CHAPTER 22

Chance

I was stuck, stupid for a moment, in shock. I couldn’t believe what I was looking at. She had definitely tried to burn my fucking house. I didn’t know if I should be mad, but low-key, I was turned on.

At least I know why she ain’t responded to my text. It seems she ran into Chase somewhere, and his bitch ass did what he did best. Some hatin’ ass shit.

The fire department was preparing to leave after arriving within eight minutes of a neighbor noticing the smoke. The on-site fire chief explained that the arsonist set a number of expensive gifts on fire and used a gasoline-soaked rope to start it.

Once they officially told me they were done, the police came by to ask who might have done it. If I were a petty nigga, I could have sent Justice sexy ass back to jail, but I knew I wouldn’t do that to her. Instead, I told them I had no idea who the arsonist was.

They knew I was lyin’, but they had to let it be.

“Okay, Mr. Legend.” The officer handed me her card. “Please reach out to us if you think of anyone who could’ve done this.”

“Yes, ma’am. I will,” I lied.