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And Light help me, I want to believe him. I want it more than I want to be warm. I let my forehead drop back onto my arms.

“Halcyon.”

He goes still behind me. “I wasn’t sure I heard you right the first time. Is that really what you see when you look at me?”

I turn my head again. His black-gold eyes catch the firelight, almost too bright beneath his long black lashes. His mouth is slightly open, the small metal ball in his tongue flashing as he breathes. Everything about him should look dangerous. Most of it does.

“I... yeah.” My fingers curl into the rug. “I think so. It sounds stupid when I say it out loud.”

“Tell me anyway.”

“You’re not peaceful.” I swallow. “Obviously. You’re probably the least peaceful person I’ve ever met. But when you’re there, when I know you’re there...” I glance down, then make myself look at him again. “Everything in me stops looking for the next bad thing. I don’t have to keep watching the door. I don’t have to work out what happens next. I can just... stop.”

His hand goes still against my back.

“That’s what halcyon means to me,” I say. “Not quiet. You. The part after.”

For once, Ash doesn’t answer immediately.

“Nobody’s ever looked at me and called me peace before.” His palm settles on the small of my back. “People look at me and see Clement, money, or what I can do for them. You’re the first person who’s ever looked at me and seen anything else.”

He doesn’t say his father’s name, but he doesn’t have to. I’ve met men like him my whole life, on Calder, in the block, the ones who taught me to flinch before I even moved.

“Well. We’re married now.” I try to keep my voice easy, because I don’t think either of us can hold much more of this. “I suppose that’s the sort of thing we get to do for each other now. For the rest of our lives.”

His hand goes flat and warm over the small of my back. “For the rest of our lives.”

It sounds reverent.

No one has ever said forever to me like it was something I could keep.

Then his teeth catch the swell of my ass, and the tenderness burns away all at once.

“Here’s to more forever, pet.” Taking hold of me with both hands, he kneads once before spreading me open.

“Look at that pretty hole, winking at me. Hello, puppy. Did you miss me?”

“Do you have to narrate?” I groan, heat rushing all the way up my chest.

“Yes.” He spits into my crease and spreads me wider, making me flinch before my back arches into him anyway. “Such lovely skin. So pale, so easy to bruise. And no, puppy, you’re not going anywhere.” Catching my hip when I jerk forward, he pulls me back and drags his tongue over me in one slow, wet circle.

My toes curl into the rug as he does it again and again, working me open with his mouth until I’m pushing back into him and my own rough pleas fill the quiet room.

Sitting back, he replaces his tongue with his thumb, circling me slowly. “Look how it flutters for me every time I touch it.”

“Please.” I push back towards his hand, too far gone to pretend I’m not begging. “Ash, please, I need more. I need you inside me.”

“Oh, you’re that hungry, puppy?”

I can’t answer properly. I only push back again, shameless now, because I love this part more than I know how to admit. The asking, the waiting, and knowing he’ll make me say exactly what I want.

“Use your words, or you don’t get my cock at all.”

“Yes, please. I’m hungry for it.” My voice comes out wrecked and much too loud in the quiet house. “I want you. Please.”

“That’s my good puppy.” The cap clicks open above me, and he pours oil between his palms, taking his time warming it while I drop my head onto my folded arms and wait, my whole body shaking.

Two fingers push into me at once, making me keen into my forearms as he sinks them deep and curls them inside me. When he finds the right place, my whole body jerks forward.