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He smiles against my skin. “I don’t remember falling asleep.”

“No.” I cover one of his hands with mine. “You fell asleep on my chest.”

Jade reaches past me for the soap and works it between his palms before setting both hands on my shoulders. I go still as he starts rubbing slow circles into the muscle there, down my arms and back again, like this is the most natural thing in the world.

For him, maybe it is. He spent years putting medicine in somebody else’s hands, checking oxygen, finding food, making sure Onyx got whatever he needed before Jade even thought about himself. Maybe this is what he does when he doesn’t know what else to do with a feeling. He takes care of someone.

His mouth touches my shoulder blade, and this time, I’m the one he’s taking care of. Fuck me if I know what to do with that.

One of my hands ends up braced against the tile while the other reaches back for him. He catches my wrist with a quiet laugh and puts it back where it was. “Stand still. I’m not finished.”

I obey him, bracing both hands against the tile while his palms keep moving over my skin.

“Turn around.”

“You sound like a brat, stormbird. Has anyone ever told you that?”

“Just turn around, Ash.”

“Bossy. I fucking love it.”

I turn, my mouth falling open when I find him already on his knees before I’ve finished turning, water spilling from my shoulders onto his face as he looks up at me through soaked lashes.

“Such a dirty brat.” My voice drops somewhere low. “I like it, puppy.”

“I’m glad you do.” He takes me into his mouth, and it overwhelms me. Again.

One hand goes into his hair while the other braces flat against the tile. He takes me deeper, water running over both of us, his mouth so hot around me that I lose about four seconds entirely. “Fuck.”

He’s sloppy, wet and eager and nowhere near controlled, lapping under the head and sucking the crown until his cheeks hollow. Then he pulls off, drags his tongue up the underside and takes me down again.

A groan pulls out of my chest as I tip my head back into the spray. “Fuck, look at you. Look at my dirty prey.”

Spit runs off his chin before the water takes it. He makes a low sound every time he goes down, like he’s the one getting something out of this, and my hips begin moving into his mouth on their own.

“There you go. Take it.” My fingers tighten in his hair. “You’ve been wanting this, haven’t you? On your knees for me like you were made for it.”

It doesn’t matter that he’s messy. He keeps looking up at me, refusing to stop, both hands spread over the fronts of my thighs to steady himself. Nobody in my life has ever knelt in front of me for nothing.

“Jade. Light…” I get a fistful of his hair without pulling. “Just like that. Don’t stop. Don’t you dare change a thing.”

Naturally, he changes something. One hand wraps around the base of me, working in time with his mouth as he takes the rest deeper. The shift hits hard enough that my knees nearly give.

I try to warn him but can’t get the word out. He doesn’t move. My toes curl against the wet stone, my whole body locking as I come with one hand fisted in his hair and my forehead pressed against the tile above him.

He takes every pulse, staying with me until my hips finally stop jerking and I’m shaking hard enough that both hands need the wall.

For a few seconds, there’s nothing but rain and the sound of me trying to breathe. Jade wipes his mouth with the back of his wrist and stays on his knees a moment longer, catching his breath.

When he stands, his hands settle on my hips and turn me towards the tile. I let him, still gone enough that I’m halfway round before I understand what he’s doing.

“Stay there a second.”

Water runs down my back as his thumb finds the first raised scar, then his mouth, warm against my skin. “I was nine when it started. After that, I knew when it was coming.”

He doesn’t ask who did it. Doesn’t ask what happened. His lips leave my skin, but his hand stays there. “Did you count?”

I go still. “Count what?”