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I growled in frustration and slammed my fist into the wall. “Damn it!”
Michael jerked the bar stools to an upright position. “He’s not gone forever. Lily can track him through the pocket watch.”
I pulled the pocket watch out and swung it by the chain in front of Michael’s face. “No. She can’t.”
“If you have the pocket watch, how did Jack get in and out of here so fast? He needs duronium to travel.” Michael sat down on the edge of the couch, his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands.
“I don’t know.”
“I’m sick of not knowing. What he’s doing, what the future holds.” He paused, on the verge of telling me something he was afraid to share.
I waited him out.
“She was with you.”
“What?”
“When I didn’t make it back. When I died saving your dad. I traveled to the future to make sure she’d be okay. On that time line, before she broke the rules to come back and get me, Em was with you.” The honesty cost him. “With you with you.”
“She loves you.” I sat down. “That would never happen.”
“Even if I’m dead?” Michael’s laugh didn’t match the morbidity of the statement. “There’s no way to know. Travel used to have rules, and now everything is completely out of control.”
I listened. Which was exactly what he needed.
He started to pace. “The fact is that, even if time is rewound, you’ll still exist, and Em will still exist. Maybe in a different state of being. She could be … sick. She could be the broken Em that was the sole survivor of a terrible bus accident. She could be medicated out of her mind.”
“I wouldn’t know her if that was the case,” I argued. I didn’t want to think of Em like that.
“She’s in your father’s files. Maybe you’ll go find her.” He lifted his hands. “Or maybe you’ll take over for Liam, and you’ll see someone like your mom, and you’ll want to help her.”
“What exactly did you see?”
He stopped and turned toward the window. He could hide his face, but not his emotions. Not from me.
“Michael?”
“You were holding her. On your lap, in your arms. You were on the front porch of your house, sitting in one of your mother’s rocking chairs, and you were holding her.” He sounded so resigned, like he was willing to surrender without a fight. “You keep showing up, loving her when she needs it most.”
“I do love Em. But it hasn’t progressed the way I thought it would at first.” I searched my soul for the truth. “I don’t want to take your place. I couldn’t.”
He faced me. “I hope we never have to find out if that’s true.”
“We both know the future is subjective. Just because you saw us together … doesn’t mean it’s going to happen,” I said. “And so many things would change. Like Lily.”
“She’s different for you, isn’t she? You look at her when she talks,” Michael said, watching me. “Weigh what she has to say.”
“Because what she has to say matters,” I said. “She matters.”
“Have you told her?”
“No.” But I’d thought about it all night.
He smiled. It, along with his emotions, was bittersweet. “What are you waiting for?”
“I don’t know. That’s a lie. I’m scared. That she won’t feel the same way. That she will.” I stood up and took over Michael’s pacing. “I mean, I’ve never done this.”
“One question.” He paused until I stopped and looked at him. “Is she worth it?”
