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He laughs and stands. “I’m not complaining about that.”

“I’m glad we’re on the same page. Sex.”

For a moment, I almost think he frowns, but a second later, it’s gone.

“Can I use your bathroom to clean up before I go?”

“All yours. I’ll be downstairs.”

I don’t get dressed other than my underwear, heading down to put a little space between us. A few minutes later, Oakley is standing in my living room, fully dressed, having gotten what he came for…what we both want, I remind myself.

“I’ll, umm, text you later,” he says.

“Okay.” I lean back on the couch, putting my feet up on the coffee table.

“Thank you for…” He rubs a hand over his head. “Fuck, what am I doing, thanking you for sex?”

An honest chuckle slips past my lips. “You can thank me for giving you my incredible ass.”

He gives me the finger, smiles, then shifts his weight from one foot to the other as though he’s waiting for something, and then says, “I guess I should go. Talk to you soon, Des.”

“See you later,” I reply, not letting myself watch him as he walks out.

The second the door is closed, I sit forward, feet on the ground again, hands in my hair. What is wrong with me? This is exactly what we said we agreed on—sex, fun, exploration.

I’m not supposed to feel used.

But I do, and I don’t know what to do about it.

CHAPTER TWENTY

Oakley

I try not to let myself feel disappointed on the ride home. It’s fucked, really. I have no reason to be disappointed, so I’m not sure why I am. I just had what might be the hottest sexual experience of my life. Des was incredible. Jesus, the way his body felt when he came, his ass squeezing my dick, the sexy sounds that fell from his lips. It was even better than I imagined, so why do I feel so…off? Like something was missing?

I need to get my shit together. Even if Des wanted more, which he doesn’t; he’s said as much himself—but even if he did want more, I’m the reason we couldn’t have that right now. I’m the one the world thinks is in a relationship. I’m the one afraid to break my mother-in-law’s heart, the one who feels like I’m letting down the people who were there for me when my own mom wasn’t.

Des made it clear what he wants too. Sex. Which I gave him. He was almost detached afterward. Not at first. Things were great when we were in bed together, but then it was just like he’d gotten what he wanted from me, and that was all there was to it.

What we want from each other, I remind myself again.

I can do this. I can do no-strings sex, just like Des does.

I get home and am just changed by the time Ree and Tiana get there. I listen while my daughter tells me all about them going to Serena’s friend’s house. She’s divorced and has a daughter Tiana’s age. They had a ladies’ night, the four of them, while she re-twisted Tiana’s hair for her.

“Lookin’ fly,” I tell her, and she does an adorable pose before Serena tells her she needs to get ready for bed because she has school tomorrow.

“Will you both put me to bed tonight?” Tiana asks. “It’s my favorite when both of you do it.” She’s old enough to put herself to bed, of course, but it’s always been part of our routine. Both Ree and I like to have that time with her, like to bond with her that way, so I’m glad that at eleven, she still asks.

“Absolutely,” I tell her. “We’ll be up in a minute.”

She nods, then runs for the stairs, and I’m reminded that there will be a time when she doesn’t do this in the house she shares with me—at least not every night. There’s not a doubt in my mind that we will come up with a fair custody split—Ree would never try to deny me any time with Tiana—but the fact is, my schedule makes things more difficult. Staying here, which we both decided Serena will do, will make this Tiana’s primary home. We want the least amount of disruption we can have.

“How was your evening?” Ree asks.

“It was nice. I went over and saw a friend.” Translation: I went over and fucked Desmond Jackson. I was in bed with another man.

“That’s good. You’re still okay to go with me and my folks to Mama’s appointment tomorrow?”