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“I don’t want to break her heart. Not when she’s sick.”

“Life doesn’t always work out the way we want it to. She’ll be sad, I’m sure, but you and Serena can’t live your lives for other people.”

“Fuck.” Oakley rubs a hand over his face. “I’m sorry. I don’t know how I took that detour. I did the same shit to you when we were sixteen.” He stands up and takes one step before I reach out and grab his wrist.

Oakley stops moving, doesn’t hesitate when I pull him over so he’s standing between my legs. I smell the salty tinge of sweat on his skin, mixed with a unique scent that’s all Oakley and too complex to explain.

In a lot of ways, that’s him in a nutshell—complex, like you never know what you’ll get, even though he shows himself to the world as someone who always plays by the rules and is more grounded than most.

“You don’t have to apologize for talking to me.” I like it when he talks to me. I did back then, and I do now, too. It makes me feel important in a way that no one else makes me feel.

I should probably let go of his wrist, but I haven’t. Oakley doesn’t pull away, his skin warm beneath mine. I hear his breath catch in his throat, then he moves closer. His other hand rises, fingers hooking under my chin. He tilts my head up, and I don’t fight him, just keep going until our eyes meet.

The desire I carry for him is reflected back in his gaze. My dick stirs, my body getting hotter by the second.

I want him, want him so fucking bad. No matter how much I try to deny it or ignore it, I’ve always wanted Oak. He was the first person to break my heart, even though he’ll never know it.

“Des,” he says softly, and then he’s bending forward, toward me, mouth just a breath from mine when I do one of the hardest things of my life.

“No,” brushes past my lips.

Oakley’s breath catches. He tenses, then tries to pull back, but I go with him, standing, hands on his hips, my forehead against his.

“Don’t do that. Don’t be running away.”

He doesn’t answer with words, but I can feel his breath against my lips still, and damned if I don’t crave to keep feeling it, to taste him, to fucking devour him.

“You said no.”

I lift one hand, resting it at his nape. “Not because I don’t want you.” I kissed him that first night, and maybe he wasn’t ready. Maybe we rushed things, and if I hadn’t done it, maybe it wouldn’t have hurt so badly the next day when he told me he was getting back with Serena. But even more important is him. I don’t want Oakley to rush into anything. He’s grappling with his relationship falling apart, and I don’t know if kissing me will fuck with his head even more.

Or maybe I’m just a distraction, something to keep his mind off everything else.

As fucked as it is, I would be that for him, but he has to be sure.

“I just want you to think about it first,” I say. “Can you do this with me when the world still thinks you’re with Serena? Have the two of you talked about this kind of thing? I don’t want to be something else you beat yourself up over.”

I have a feeling I was that for him when we were sixteen, and it would kill me to be it again.

“Think about it, talk to Serena if you need to. Do whatever you need to do, and then if you want me, I’ll be here.”

Oakley pulls his head back. “I wouldn’t have tried to do that if Serena would have a problem with it. What kind of man do you think I am?”

“Stop bullshitting. You know that’s not what I meant. I just don’t want to do the wrong thing, Oak. Hell, you’ve had a few drinks tonight.”

Plus, if this shit is gonna happen, I also need to get my head on straight too, make sure I know what this is, that I’m a distraction for Oakley and nothing more.

“Shit,” he says. “Yeah, you’re right. I’m sober, but I don’t know what in the fuck I was thinking.”

“You were thinking how fine I am and how much you want a taste,” I tease, and he rolls his eyes before doing the last thing I expect and dropping his forehead to my shoulder.

I don’t move for a second, and then wrap my arms around him. Oakley’s wrap around me, squeezing me back, and we just stand there together, wrapped up in each other, holding one another, and damned if it doesn’t feel like no time has passed.

I should be over Oakley Manning.

I thought I was.

But just this quickly, he’s already under my skin, reaching places inside of me that no one has found except for him.