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“No, it’s good. In a way, she did. It was right after I was drafted. At first, I thought maybe she was only contacting me again to try to get something from me. Like she saw I made something of myself and was going to try getting a piece.”

“It’s a realistic conclusion to come to,” he says. “That wasn’t it?”

“Nah. Not really. She said she’d been following my achievements through college, and she knew about T. She said she loved me and was proud of me, but just that she didn’t know how to be a mom. That it had been silently sucking the life out of her.”

“Jesus,” Des cuts in. “I’m sorry.”

“It is what it is. I don’t think she meant to hurt me. She just knew she didn’t want to be a wife and a mother anymore. She wanted me to know she loved me, that she was happy for me and Ree. When we said goodbye that time, I knew it was for good, and at least she didn’t disappear in the middle of the night.”

“Family is fucking hard,” he says.

“It is, but I have Sanaa. She’s been a mom to me most of my life. They raised Ree and me together. She’s always been there for me, and she loves Tiana like crazy. Seriously. Best grandma a kid could ask for.”

He chuckles. “I’m glad. She’s a cool kid, Oak. You and Serena did your thing. You should be proud.”

I am. There’s nothing in this world I’m prouder of than my daughter, but I couldn’t make it work with Serena. Just a few minutes ago, he told me he knew Ree and I would last, but we didn’t. I didn’t do what Des thinks I did, and that will always feel like a failure to me. “She’s the best,” is how I answer, because talking about Tiana is the only thing that feels real. “I love being her dad.”

“That’s cool.”

“You want kids?” I ask.

He shrugs. “I don’t know. Maybe. I like kids, though. Guess it just depends on what happens. Gotta have a partner to have a kid.” He looks my way and chuckles.

“I’ve heard the stories about you. You don’t seem to want to settle down anytime soon.” He never has settled down. I’ve never seen any stories about Desmond having any kind of long-term partner.

“If you’ve heard it, then it must be true.”

My brows pull together, his response not what I expected. “You have someone?” I ask, gaze intense on him while I wait for him to answer.

“Nah. I’m giving you shit. There’s never been anyone. I enjoy being single too much. There’s so much good sex to have.”

Now that’s the kind of response I expected from him. “You can have good sex with the same person.” Or at least, I assume you can. I don’t want to say that the sex with Serena and me wasn’t good, because it was—more in the beginning than toward the end. Or, I guess, the sex still felt good, but there was that part of me that felt guilty because I knew I didn’t love her the way I should. I spent most of the time all up in my head, and she noticed.

“Not everyone gets their happily ever after with the first person they ever loved.”

Tell him, tell him I didn’t either.

“How’s your pops?” he asks, and I take the escape he gave me.

“Still alone. He hasn’t dated anyone since my mom left. He’s doing better, though. He comes out to visit twice a year. He spent a lot of time with Ree’s parents before they moved out here.”

“Think he’ll come here too?” Des asks.

“Nah. He has no desire to move to Los Angeles. How are your parents?”

“Great as always. They used to go see me in Kansas City a few times a year too, and now they’ll be coming to L.A. I think I have more of a shot getting them to move out here than I did Kansas City.”

“Valid. Who wants to live there?”

Desmond chuckles. “No shit.”

We continue to talk about whatever random conversation hits us, not speaking about anything important or why he asked me to come in the first place. Maybe this was just it, trying to find our way back to that place we were when we spent those two weeks together.

Des eventually puts the steaks on the grill. We eat, and then we go from drinking water and lemonade to working on a bottle of whiskey that he had around the house.

Evening is giving way, the sky getting darker and darker, as we sit side by side and just…talk and laugh, the same way we did all those years ago. We’re like those two sixteen-year-old boys again, getting to know each other, laughing, and just enjoying conversation without the awkwardness or the snippy sarcasm that has become how we socialize in our adult lives.

I’m feeling a little tipsy. I’m going to have to figure out how to get home tonight. I won’t drive unless I wait long enough to sober up. Calling a car service makes me nervous because getting picked up from Desmond’s place will definitely call attention to me if the driver recognizes me.