Page 8

“He gave me a place to stay, something you won’t do.”

I stepped farther into the room, keeping my eyes on her and trying to keep my temper under control, because she always had a way of making everything sound like I was wrong.

“Jalisa, you damn right I won’t give you a place to stay because I like my valuable shit. You really going to sit there and make this about me?”

She looked to our daughter, her expression softening for a moment before she said,

“I just wanted to see my baby, Duke. I don't understand why you always have to make everything so difficult.”

I shook my head, because if she really wanted to understand why I was standing there looking at her the way I was, then she needed to take a long, hard look at the choices she'd made after our daughter was born.

“You made your choices, Jalisa.”

“And you made yours,” she replied, finally looking me in the eyes again.

“I’m still her mother, Duke,” she said quietly, and I couldn’t argue with that shit.

No matter how angry I was with Jalisa, no matter how many times she had disappointed me or how much damage her addiction had caused, I couldn't erase the fact that she was my daughter's mother. Or the fact that I was a part of the reason she was on drugs and in the streets now.

It all started when she had the baby, and we were together, but I wanted to do my thing while she demanded I stay home and be a family man at fifteen. I started feeding her pills to help with her nerves and help her sleep while my mama and her mama took care of Mirical. It started as a way for me to be free of her bitching and asking me for shit until the questions she started to ask were, could I get her more pills.

When I saw that she was getting addicted after a few years, I took away the pills and made her go to rehab when she turned eighteen. She went for about six months, got out, and seemed to be doing fine, until she linked up with one of the dudes she was with in rehab and started doing harder drugs. The kind that I never would have given her. Now her ass is a junky, and nothing like my teenage crush from years ago.

I sat down in the chair furthest away from the bed. I remember this was the chair I would sit in when Mirical first got moved here because I was too fucked up about her condition to sit right beside her with all that shit hooked up to her body. I wouldn’t look up from my lap at all during visits, counting that as valuable time with her.

Over time, I moved a chair closer and closer until I was sitting right where Jalisa is sitting now, rubbing her hand the same way. I used to wait there, hoping I was present when she opened her eyes, but I was secretly losing faith that would ever really happen.

Me and Jalisa sat there in silence until a phone started ringing, and it wasn’t mine. That shit threw me off because Jalisa hadn’t had a phone in a good minute.

She reached down to her purse on the floor, confirming it was, in fact, her phone ringing.

“Hey, okay. I’m about to come out now. Bye. See you in a little bit.”

She placed the phone back into her purse.

She stood up from the chair and then kissed Mirical on her forehead, which ignited something in my body that I didn’t like.

“I would appreciate it if you kept your lips off of her, she’s sick enough.” Jalisa turned towards me with her face turned up, and I matched her vibe by mugging her ass back.

“Seriously, Duke, I am clean and have been for six months now. I’m not doing any drugs or selling myself for them anymore, so don’t treat me as if I’m poison.”

I shrugged.

“I mean, I’m just going off what I’ve known about you for a long time now. You been wilding, Jay.”

“And you aren’t? Duke, you will fuck anything that has a coochie and looks decent.”

I laughed at her

“Decent ain't enough, and you should know that. A bitch has to at least be bad to experience this dick.” I sunk my teeth into my bottom lip.

“Remember, even you used to be bad as hell, which is why we share a child.”

“Yeah, I was, but just remember you can look good and still carry every disease known to man. Don’t think you’re better than me, because you give your dick away for free and I charged for what I gave away.”

She reminded me that even through them drugs, she still had that same smart ass mouth.

“Yeah, if that’s what you say, Jalisa. Anything to make you feel better.”