Page 7

One Month Later

RJ was still in a coma, and his condition wasn't getting any better. I'd spent damn near every hour sitting beside his bed, watching his chest rise and fall with the help of that machine, being afraid every time his fingers twitched, or the heart monitor changed rhythm. I kept hoping that when he finally opened his eyes, I would be the first person he saw.

Seeing him lying in a hospital bed with wires attached to his body and a ventilator breathing for him was the worst thing I'd ever seen in my life, and I'd actually seen someone die before. My mama was taking it hard, and my brother couldn't stand to look at him whenever he visited the hospital.

This was proof that you never really knew where life would take you because just months ago I was living my life without a care in the world. Now my days were filled with worry, even when I wanted to sleep.

Though it pained me to see him in that hospital bed under all those wires, my baby looked like he was asleep, and that gave me the smallest bit of comfort in the middle of all this pain. At least one of us was getting rest right now because I knew I wouldn't until he woke up.

I was up at all hours of the day and night, praying that one day he would open his eyes for me and prove these restless nights were for a reason. I hoped that one day I would have a testimony like the ones I'd heard in church and that my prayers for healing were being received.

My mama and the church members were the only reason I even left the hospital today because the church held a prayer circle for him after service. The whole sanctuary was filled with people calling RJ's name out to God, crying, singing, and speaking healing over my baby.

After service, everyone begged for me to come back to my mama's house for at least a few hours, and honestly, my body was starting to shut down from barely eating or sleeping, so I agreed.

Now I was lying in my bed staring into the darkness while the room sat quiet around me. My mattress was soft, but no matter how comfortable I felt physically, my mind wouldn't let me rest.

When the bedroom door cracked open, Crew leaned his head inside.

“You need anything from the bodega? I'm about to go grab another wood.”

His voice sounded softer than I was used to hearing. There was no joking, no slick comments, no attitude. Just him checking in on me.

Even after finding out about me and Hov, he was still there for me, and that meant a lot. I expected him to call me all types of insults like he usually did, but he hadn't said any of them which was just weird.

Almost like it never happened. He must’ve known that the slightest name calling would’ve probably sent me over the edge. Made me feel like life was getting so far away from better that better would never happen.

“Nah, brother, I'm okay. I don't want anything.”

“Aight, let me know if you do,” he replied before his eyes shifted toward the sandwich sitting untouched on the nightstand beside me.

“You eat yet?”

My eyes followed his toward the sandwich Mama had made earlier. It had been sitting there so long that the bread was curling around the edges.

I thought about lying out of habit, but the proof that I hadn't eaten was sitting right there.

“Nah. Maybe later.”

Crew didn't reply. Instead, he walked closer to the bed and leaned down, pressing a soft kiss against my forehead.

The gentleness of it almost broke me instantly because that rough, loud version of my brother disappeared the second RJ got hurt.

It was like I lost two people that day.

“Try to get some rest, Jas,” he whispered before walking back out of the room.

The second the door shut behind him, the silence rushed back over me, and I felt my face tightening immediately while I fought to hold the tears back.

I rolled onto my side, and my eyes landed on RJ's little section of the room.

His tablet was sitting on the charger beside the wall, exactly where I had left it the day his father came and took him from me. Next to it was a small stack of picture books, all lined up neatly because he hated when they weren't. One of them was turned sideways, and normally he would've fixed it the second he noticed. My baby was so neat when it came to his personal belongings.

I sat up and stared at it for a minute.

The room had been so quiet lately and too quiet if you ask me.

RJ always made noise, even when he wasn't talking. If he wasn't watching the same cartoon for the hundredth time, he was tapping on his tablet, lining his toys up, humming to himself, or asking me the same question over and over until he got the answer he wanted.