Page 41

“They are prayer beads. I usually pull them out after I pray or during meditation, but I feel like this room needs peace, so they are here to give extra.” He held his hand out to me.

“You can hold them for a minute if you would like to see if that makes you feel anything.”

He held the beads out in one hand, and they looked tiny as hell until I took them into mine. I didn’t know what to do with them, so I started fondling them like a stress ball. Rubbing the marbles back and forth, listening to them clash against one another.

“So, what did you want to talk about?”

Amir asked.

“Umm, so first off, thank you for coming. I really appreciate it.”

“When have I not come when you called?”

I smiled shyly as I looked into his auburn colored eyes.

“Yeah, you are right, you always have.” I took a brief pause.

“Well, I called you to ask.” I stopped talking and took a deep breath.

“I’m sorry, I’m just, I guess I’m kind of scared to say it, Amir.”

“Well, just sit on it for a minute. Think about what you want to say and how you want to say it, then we can talk. I’m patient, and I wouldn’t have come here if I didn’t have time.”

I waited for a minute, fondling the beads more before I finally spoke up again. The only sounds in the room besides the marbles were the machines beside my baby’s bed and the faint noise of nurses talking somewhere out in the hallway.

I exhaled a few times, hoping that those slight breaths would give me the courage to speak.

“Okay, Amir, there is something that I have to tell you, and I wasn’t going to at first, but keeping it from you will do more harm than good.”

Amir stayed quiet, letting me speak at my own pace instead of rushing me. That honestly made it worse because now I had time to panic.

I kept rubbing my hands together before finally looking over at him.

“And before I say it, I need you to know that this wasn’t planned or any of that. I’m not trying to trap you, force you into anything, or any of that. Honestly, I’m just as surprised by this as I know you will be.”

My voice cracked a little before I swallowed it down.

Amir leaned forward, resting his forearms against his knees.

“Jasmine,” he said calmly, “whatever it is, you can say it.”

I took a deep breath, feeling like my heart was about to beat out of my damn chest.

“Amir, I’m pregnant.”

The words finally left my mouth so fast I barely even heard myself say them.

Amir looked at me for a second before dropping his head down low. My heart instantly started pounding in my chest. Every bad thought possible hit me all at once, and I started regretting opening my damn mouth.

Amir lifted his head back up slowly and reached his hand toward me. His large palm spread gently across my stomach through my hoodie, and the touch alone almost made me emotional.

“Why are you scared to make fathers be fathers, Jasmine?” he asked calmly.

“I, for one, don’t have a problem with it. I didn’t plan on us having a kid, but whatever Allah puts on me, I have to accept.”

I swallowed hard, still searching his face for some kind of hidden reaction. There, however, wasn’t one. I could tell by the way he wasn’t avoiding eye contact that he was telling the truth.

“Do you believe it’s yours?” I asked quietly.