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“No hospital. I can’t. I don’t want to.” I looked up at her, my very life depending on her answer. “If he took precautions, if he somehow survived the fire and found a bridge, could he get back through without you and your exotic matter?”
Her face was full of pity. “Emerson—”
“Could he get back through?”
“It’s a possibility.” The look of pity didn’t fade, and somewhere, deep down, I knew she was telling me what I wanted to hear.
I turned to stare at the grandfather clock in the corner. Half past midnight.
“I’m going to wait for him.”
“At least sit down before you collapse.” Cat helped me onto the couch, placing pillows behind my back. “Let me look at your cuts—”
“Don’t touch me. Okay?” I forced myself to keep my voice steady, at a normal volume. “I’m fine.”
“But—”
“Please!” I could feel myself edging toward hysteria with every second that passed. I needed her out. “I’m fine. Please leave me alone.”
“I can’t, you’re hurt—”
“Cat?” I didn’t want to break, and if she didn’t leave me alone, didn’t stop talking about Michael … I knew I might.
She left me.
I hoped and prayed that there was some possibility he’d survived. That by some miracle he could come back to me.
I sat in the dark, waiting. The grandfather clock in the entryway sounded the hour.
One.
I barely noticed when Nate and Dune headed up to bed. Dune started to say something, but stopped when he saw my face.
An hour passed; the clock sounded twice.
Cat came in to check on me but didn’t speak. I ignored her, turning my body to face the clock, still as stone, watching the hands move. The house slowly went quiet, the only sounds the occasional creaks and pops common in older homes. I thought I heard Kaleb and Liam walk past, but I was too fixated on the time to pay close attention.
Dawn came. The sunrise brought no hope.
When the chimes sounded seven times, I stood, pushed the blanket to the floor, and walked up the stairs to Michael’s bed. Alone.
He wasn’t coming back.
Chapter 48
I knew who it was the second the door opened. He would be the only one who would come looking for me here, the only one who wouldn’t be afraid to come in without knocking. He wouldn’t ask for permission to enter because he knew I’d say no.
Kaleb wouldn’t take no from me.
He crossed the room to the bed where I lay curled up in a ball, holding on to Michael’s pillow and breathing in his scent. Kaleb reached out to touch me, but caught himself when he saw me flinch. I couldn’t help it. The last time someone had touched me in this room, it had been Michael.
eath came in spasms, ripping through my lungs, a thousand knives in my throat. “He … he had to … if he died here, in the past … I would never have met him …”
“I wish that’s the way it worked, but it isn’t.” Liam gently took both my hands in his.
“We have to find him. We have to take him back.” I tried to pull my hands away, tried to stand, but Liam had the same massive strength his son did. Even my rage didn’t sway his steady hold. “Please,” I cried openly, begging, “let me go, please.”
He whispered, “There’s nothing to find, Emerson.”
