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“Water? I can’t imagine this place being so dry that you’d be short of water.”
“Oh, hell, son. This place looked as if it hadn’t seen a drop of rain in years. Like I said though, those flowers had to be getting it from somewhere. Well, with those hogs rooting and digging like they were, they soon disturbed the ground, and that wet stuff started finding its way to the lower parts that they’d been in, and it began pooling. When I saw that, I started digging small ponds and letting them fill up. It didn’t take but a couple of years or so, and we had several natural grasses and plants growing wild again. Once they was out from under all that scrub, those seeds saw sunlight and boy did they come back with a vengeance. One of the neighbors stopped by one day and just stood at my fence line all goggle-eyed like he’d seen a miracle.” He laughs at this memory.
“They all called me crazy when I first got those goats and hogs. Thought I’d gone critter crazy. That’s what they called me, and that was how the ranch got the name, Critter Craze Ranch. He sure didn't think I was crazy when he saw the land then. He just couldn’t believe it was the same land I’d built that cabin on. It was during the second year, when the goats ate through an enormous thicket of brush, that they uncovered a well. Took me a week to clear out the debris and shore up the walls again, but she was clean and sweet within a few weeks. That’s the well out back here. That’s why I built our second home on this spot. The first cabin we had to fetch water from one of the ponds. Wasn’t ideal, but it was all we had at the time. Anyway, I’m rambling. Her father didn’t expect us to make anything of the land, and boy was he pissed when he saw what we made of it. In just five years we was on the map and selling good beef on the hoof. We was careful how we grazed the herd and always made sure we didn’t overgraze any of it. We made a good life for ourselves, and her family tried more’n once to take it off us. Her father tried to say he’d only lent us the land, rented it to us, leased it on a fixed term. He tried everything, but I just kept turning up to every court appearance with the deed with my name on it and those judges kept kicking his claim out of court. So when they find out I’m dead or dying, they sure as hell will come knocking. If I thought you were interested, I’d just leave the whole kit and caboodle to you and have done with it.” He eyes me hopefully, but I’m no cowboy, rancher, or even a homesteader.
“I appreciate the thought, Silas, but it’s not my kind of lifestyle. I couldn’t do it justice.” I’m shocked that he would even consider handing me a ranch.
“Anyone else in that gang of yours who would be interested? Not for free, like I’d give it to you, but at a good price to keep it alive?” Again, I see the hope in his eyes, but no one springs to mind. Mateo and Spirit, maybe? From what I know of Spirit, she wouldn’t give up the land her father left to her to move to the ranch.
“I can’t think of anyone, Silas. I mean, I’ll ask around in the club, but I can’t think of anyone that would even know what to do with a cow, goat or hog.” I could bring it up in church, but I can only imagine the look on Pres’ face when I ask if anyone wants to buy a ranch as a successful business. Promising to ask the question, we chat for another couple of hours before I say my goodbyes, leaving him with a promise to visit again soon and at least try to find someone who would be interested in a ranch.
Chapter 2
*~* Vortex *~*
Iget the feeling that Silas being in the club bar was no coincidence. I’ll bring up the ranch at our next Church, but I can’t see anyone taking it on. None of us are cowboys in the true sense of the word. Perhaps if I’d had my woman by my side, it would have made a great family home, after losing all those cows, of course. How would you make enough for the upkeep of such a place without cows, though? I don’t see myself as a dude ranch owner. Taking city folk for horse rides and maybe camping out? Oh my Lord, no.
Wandering through the compound, I look at the houses that have been built so far and the way that the surrounding space is being developed. If and when they get around to the pool, it is going to be one hell of a space. I know Whack will go overboard with every aspect. It’s going to be a full-on, noisy space when all the brothers have their women and kids here. To tell the truth, I think it would be awesome to be part of that, if you have your woman and kids. Do I want to be sitting around on the sidelines, alone, watching everyone have that time?
I think I need to get out more and lose this mood I seem to be developing. I suppose this could be the male version of a woman being broody? I could be doing women the world over a disservice by attaching that to a single sex, I don’t know. Shit! What a train of thought. I’m glad we don’t walk around with those little thought bubbles like in the old-time cartoons!
To hell with this. I’m going for a ride and blow some cobwebs out of my head. Slipping onto my hog, I don’t fetch my helmet from the clubhouse. Whack will rip me a new one if he finds out, but what the hell. You can’t blow away cobwebs if they’re tethered under a brainbox.
Slipping out the gate, I notice James is the prospect on gate duty today. Giving him a chin lift, I open up my girl and roar down the road. Not having any specific destination in mind, I just follow my nose, and when I see the pet crem, I slip into the parking lot at the rear. As I approach the rear entrance, I hear a commotion and rush inside…and stop dead in my tracks.
On the floor, lying on its side is a shiny stainless-steel gurney. Next to that is what appears to be a slimy, dead cat. What has me gaping open-mouthed though is Prophet hanging onto the tail of the biggest snake I’ve ever seen. It keeps turning back on itself and striking at him. That is one big-mouthed motherfucker.
“Don’t just stand there, help me!” Prophet yells. Before I can answer a chorus of voices comes from a doorway further inside the building.
“You can fuck off!” Winger mutters.
“You grabbed the fucking thing, you deal with it!” That’s Zion's contribution.
“You made it throw up its dinner. You pissed it off, you can be its next freakin’ meal,” Cannon spits out, standing with his arms folded across his huge chest.
“I wrangled a few of those when I lived in Florida, but nothing that came close to that size. Don’t expect any help from the only woman here if the men aren’t going to do fuck all,” Mary-Lou pipes up.
Prophet dodges another strike attempt, and this one was extremely close. “Fuck it! I can’t do this alone.” With that, he throws the tail to the floor and steps back quickly. Freed of its tormentor, the snake, whom I can only presume is the infamous Percy the Python, slithers off to a dark area near the furnaces. That thing moves a lot faster than I would have given it credit for, I must say. No one follows it or makes any attempt to see where it slithers off to.
“I guess you almost caught him that time, eh? Or vice versa, maybe,” I grin as I say this.
“Percy was just swallowing the last of the cat when I walked in here,” Prophet states. “It wasn’t until I grabbed his ass end that I realized what I’d done. I shouted for someone to come and help me, but this lot just stood there gawking. He spat the cat back out and then turned his attention on me. It looks a lot easier on TV, believe me. That is one powerful beast.” Prophet has a sheen of sweat on his brow, and I don’t doubt that was he’s saying is true.
As I’m the nearest, I pick up the gurney and put it back on its wheels. Looking at the cat, I leave that for someone else to handle. “Never a dull moment for you guys, and gals,” I add as I nod at Mary-Lou, “is there?”
“I thought you guys were yanking my chain when you were talking about Percy. Anything else living here that I should know about?” She gives all of us the stink-eye, and I just raise my hands in surrender.
“That’s the first time I’ve met Percy, and that’s the only time I want to meet him, too. I hope that’s all that’s living here.”
“There’s nothing else since Winger gave Percy a home and a free buffet. He’s fucking impressive, I’ll give him that. We shouldn’t need to spend anything on the exterminators, other than their yearly certificate that is.” Cannon grins at us all as if that’s a good thing. At least the exterminators bring their own lunch and don’t eat the clientele.
“What can we do for you, Vortex? Not like you to drop in unannounced,” Zion asks as he steps over and returns the cat to the gurney.
“I was just out riding and happened to be in the neighborhood, so I thought I’d stop by and have a coffee with you all. Didn’t expect you guys to throw in a show, though.”
“Don’t expect one every time, eh?” Prophet tells me, rolling his right shoulder, which I’m damn sure must ache from hanging on to Percy.
After spending an hour, mostly hearing about Mary-Lou’s days in Florida and how she almost became a snake wrangler, I take my leave and saunter into town. As I approach a set of lights, I pull up alongside a white Mercedes SL convertible. Looking down at the driver, I recognize our local realtor. Things must be on the up and up in the real estate world. The last time I saw him he was driving an old Honda sedan.
