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Having fun? Ziggy sends me from the other room. I don’t need to hear him snickering to know he finds this amusing.

We’re officially hexing Uncle Henrik. Got it? As soon as I can empty my bladder.

“Emma,” the robot replies in a matching tone, “unfortunately, I cannot.”

I lean my hip against the sink, changing my approach. “Are you aware that I’m an elemental witch? Do you know what an elemental witch is?”

He blinks a few times before replying. I’m guessing that’s his version of buffering as he waits for a search result. “You have the ability to control the elements of the earth.”

I nod. “That’s right. It wouldn’t take much to cause an earthquake right beneath this room. Shake the house so violently as the earth’s crust rips apart that one little shove would send you careening down that crack, lost forever to the molten heat of the barysphere.”

The corner of his mouth pulls up into a smirk. “I’m required to pass along bodily threats and refusal to comply directly to your uncle. Are you aware of that?”

This traitorous bitch.

If that portal bomber is still trying to hunt me down, he can find me in the bathroom on the first floor of my house, attempting to strangle my robot guard. And I have to bring him to work with me tomorrow? This is my hell.

Chapter 4

Emma

“Can you please sit down?” I ask Abe. “You’re making me nervous.” We’ve been at work for an hour, and he remains on his feet, hovering over my shoulder.

“I cannot.” His voice is flat, and I don’t need to see his face to know his expression is the same one he wore in the bathroom yesterday when he refused to let me relieve myself alone.

We continued to argue about it until my bladder was on the verge of exploding, but ultimately, I allowed him to stay as long as he faced the door and hummed to himself to block out the sound. It was the only compromise that would prevent him from reporting my threat to Henrik. I’m not afraid of my uncle, I just don’t want to hear from him.

Abe had never hummed before, so what came out of him was a series of low honks. I came out of the exchange feeling like I hadn’t lost anything, since we both exposed parts of ourselves that should’ve stayed hidden.

“You can,” I point out as I click through my unread emails, “you just don’t want to.”

An amused grunt follows. “Correct. I don’t want to because if I’m sitting, I can’t protect you or neutralize a threat as easily as if I were already standing.”

He makes a good point, Ziggy sends from where he’s curled up on the carpet beneath a wide sunbeam.

Honestly, Zig. How dare you?

Unbothered, Ziggy rolls onto his back and stretches, his mouth falling open on a yawn so big and cute my annoyance evaporates.

“Abe, I have back-to-back meetings for the next three hours. I’m way behind on work. Can you just––” I’m about to beg him to cut the shit when Otto pops his head into my doorway.

“Hey, boss, good to see ya,” he says, his tentacles rolling along the floor, bringing his wide frame closer. When he spots Abe, his face scrunches up. “What’s with the boy toy?”

“Not my boy toy,” I correct. “Otto, this is Abe. Abe is a robot designed to protect me until the portal bomber is apprehended.” I turn halfway to look at Abe. “Abe, this is Otto, Sheriff of Mapletown.”

Otto gives Abe a wary nod in greeting, which Abe immediately mimics.

“Why do you need a robot to protect you when you have the entire sheriff’s department?”

But because he’s a Boston-raised kraken, it comes out like “depahhtmint.”

“Believe me,” I say with a scoff, “this wasn’t my idea. My hands were tied.”

He crosses his arms and puffs his chest a bit as he glares at Abe. “So this is what they meant by the robots taking our jobs? I never thought they’d come for mine, but here we are. I gotta say, boss, I’m not ready. Don’t have enough saved for retirement.”

“Otto, chill. He’s not taking anyone’s job.” I gesture to the window, through which we have a clear view of the town square. People are making their way to and from work, having lunch, peacefully going about their day. “There’s someone out there who tried to kill me. Do you want to be in the line of fire when they realize they failed and I’m still alive?”

“Of course; it’s my duty.”