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She cocked her head, a warm smile still on her lips. “Sweetheart, I don’t believe that for a second.”
Honey snoozed by her feet as they made the five-hour drive back to Haverport, two loaves of sourdough banana bread tucked safely in the trunk. Jess didn’t want to leave the warmth and closeness of his family, but they didn’t have an option; summer season was in full swing back at home, and they had a shop to save. She’d done her best to contain her tears as she hugged Arielle goodbye, her words dancing around in her head.
He deserves your bravery, too.
Jess looked over at Kevin, a bright smile still on his face, even an hour after leaving the house.
She couldn’t help it; she had to ask. “Why would you not want to be near them?”
He shrugged. “I like my life in Haverport. I like being near the beach and helping build parade floats for charity and working at the bike shop. I like hanging with Calvin…with you. It feels harder to leave that than to drive away from my family in Burlington. I can drive up whenever I want to see them…or, well, used to. I’ll have to get a new car eventually.”
“I already told you to take mine whenever you need it.”
“I know, sweetheart. I would hate to be a burden though.”
“You’re never a burden,” she said softly. “Also…does your mom call you sweetheart, too?”
He blushed. “Yeah, sorry, it’s what we say to each other in my family. I can stop if it makes you uncomfortable.”
She wiggled in her seat. “No. Keep calling me that. I like it.”
“Good. Me too.”
She drew her gaze out the passenger window to the blur of trees and mountains surrounding them. “Kevin?”
“Hmm?
She sucked in a breath. “Am I a lost soul you felt you needed to save?”
She heard him sigh.
“I watched you sacrifice so much of yourself for a man who couldn’t do the same for you in return,” he replied. “I know I came across strong at first with my offer, but it’s because I’ve always known you deserve better than that. You deserve more.”
“And do you think I’d find that with you?” As the words left her lips she froze, but Kevin didn’t even bat an eye.
“Not if I don’t make you happy,” he confessed. “I want you to be happy, Jess. If that’s not with me, then so be it.”
Jess wondered if the life lesson Arielle gave her in the kitchen was one that Kevin had heard before. He wasn’t just being brave, he was being honest. He put everything out there on that metaphorical table, making his intentions clear, knowing that it might not work out for him in the end.
What would be worse? Living without knowing what could have been, or living knowing you gave it your all?
Her heart twisted at the thought. She flicked on her pop punk playlist, letting the music fill the space between them as she processed what she was feeling. Being with Kevin was the safest she’d ever felt with someone. She trusted him with her deepest vulnerabilities and he still chose to spend time with her, to be her friend, even when she was the worst version of herself. Despite how hard she tried pushing him away over the years, he was always a constant. A friend who cared enough to ask and to want more for her. To have what she deserved.
Maybe I need to be brave.
She shut down the thought immediately. Why would she do that to herself when she finally had her freedom? Why was she incapable of being single and independent? She needed months—maybe years—before even considering another relationship. And Kevin made it clear he was not going to be a rebound.
She closed her eyes and rested her cheek on the cool glass of the window, hoping to drift off and mute these new, raging, unwelcome emotions.
Chapter Fifteen
Jess nibbled on the blackberry hand pie in front of her, then paused. It wasn’t right yet—the filling didn’t taste as sweet as she hoped, and she felt it needed something else to give it that special zing. Maybe more lemon juice? She bent over her table and made a note to try that in her next batch.
Kevin stood at the other end of the shop with Calvin, their heads bent, mumbling something she couldn’t hear.
“Are you going to share with the class or are you going to keep ignoring the fact that I’m here?” Jess barked.
Kevin grinned, looking between her and Calvin. “She’s such a charmer.”
