Page 10

Still, he often lectured her on how much more she would be accepted by others if she didn’t read so often. Hence why she now tried to hide how much she truly did read.

She always expressed her gratitude for his half-hearted support, but she knew there was more that Father wanted—a daughter who was comfortable in Society, a daughter who could find a good match and make him proud. Unfortunately, he was not so blessed.

Biting her lower lip, she pressed the thoughts from her mind before finally making her decision about that evening, though Heaven knew she would come to regret it.

She stared hard out the window again. The pathway between her home and the harbor was virtually empty, most folks having already returned home from work and shopping and socializing. Now was when she enjoyed being out of doors most—when there were fewer eyes to pry on her and her reading.

But she had a task to see to, and a delicate one, at that. For she did not wish to reveal her secret feelings for August Moon to anyone, especially her own father.

“Do ye know what Cook be makin’ for dinner this evenin’?” she asked.

“I believe she be makin’ lamb loaf,” Father replied. He made a popping sound with his lips as he inhaled the tobacco. “Ye be eatin’ alone tonight, though, as I be dinin’ with the Moons.”

“Oh?” Livvy could certainly be proud of that response. How amazingly unaffected had her voice sounded? She had almost managed to convince herself of her indifference.

“I be sorry to be leavin’ ye alone again,” Father replied. “Ye were invited too, ’course, but the Moons know ye don’t take well to attendin’ parties and such.”

And well they should know it, just like everyone on the Mount did. Every dinner invitation she’d received, every request to attend an assembly, had sent Livvy into a panic, pushing her to make feeble excuses to remain at home as she professed headache after headache or excessive fatigue. Father would always attend alone.

It was not that she didn’t like people. Quite the contrary, actually. She used to enjoy socializing as a young girl and had countless friends. But after Mother died…

Livvy shook her head. She’d attempted to enter Society at the age of sixteen—as per Father’s request—but being in Society and not being like Society had simply brought forth one disaster after another. She’d been so anxious under Father’s pressure that she’d made herself sick right before she would have begun her first dance.

After that, no man wished to stand up with her again, so she’d remained half-hidden behind curtains the rest of the evening, further solidifying her strange behavior to those on the Mount.

It was better to hide away, though, if only to avoid the need to exchange forced false pleasantries and hear questions about her past that she refused to answer—and questions about herself that she didn’t feel like she was required to answer.

Fortunately, when she passed the age of seventeen three years ago, the invitations stopped, Father’s pressure lessened, and Livvy was granted relief.

That is, until last year when things had begun to…change. She had begun to change. She still did not wish for invitations to be extended to her, but then, she was so lonely at times. Perhaps receiving—

“Livvy?”

She withdrew from her reverie, grateful she hadn’t followed that line of thought any further. She knew what would occur if she returned to Society, and she was not yet ready to share her secrets with the world.

“Yes, Father?”

“I asked ye a question,” he repeated, giving her the same chiding look he always did when her mind wandered. “Are ye upset that I be goin’?”

“Oh, not at all. I be ’appy ye get to attend. Only…”

She paused. By attending this party, more invitations would follow, and she would inevitably reject them all to avoid more questions and more meaningless chatter.

If only those in Society did not take offense at a simple and polite rejection. If only people would see her for what she was—a woman without the strength to socialize. But misunderstandings would always occur when others were unwilling to accept someone different from themselves.

“Liv?”

She cleared her throat, straightening her mind in the process. There was one thing that would push her to follow through with her plan. For years, she’d dreamt of mingling with August Moon, and now was her chance. There was no turning back. She simply needed to take courage for one evening, then life would go back to normal. Would it not?

“Would ye like me company?” she blurted out before she could stop herself again.

Father removed the pipe from his mouth, his lips parted in surprise. “Ye wish to come? To a dinner party? At the Moons’?”

She shrugged, hoping to maintain her apathetic façade. She wouldn’t wish for him to think she was attending for any other reason other than to help him. “I don’t particularly wish to come,” she clarified, and that was the whole truth. “But it ’as been quite some time, and I…Well, I figured ye allow me to read all day, so I ought to give ye a bit more effort on me part. Unless ye don’t want me to come.”

Father stood, placed his pipe on the table, then crossed the room toward Livvy. A small smile curved his lips as he gently held her upper arms in his hands.

“I would absolutely enjoy your company, daugh’er.” His smile faltered. “So long as ye promise to keep your conversations ’bout books to a minimum. Ye know ’ow carried away ye can get when they be mentioned, and we don’t want others thinkin’…”