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She had never seen him look lost before.

Right in that moment, there was something hollow and desperate in his eyes.

There was something achingly, terribly tragic.

“Adonis…are you all right?”

“Of course I am,” he said. “The baby is healthy?”

“Yes,” the doctor said. “Everything looks like it’s right on track. My original due date is the same, and I don’t see any cause for concern.”

“That’s all that matters,” he said.

“Of course,” she said.

Except she had thought he might have some reaction to them having a son.

He didn’t say anything. Not when the doctor left and she got dressed. Not when they started to drive back home.

“We should tell Alex.”

“Of course,” he said.

“We could name him after Alex, actually. Alexander Katrakis. What do you think?”

“If that’s what you think is best.”

It was such a strange, bland answer. She was mainly teasing, and he wasn’t responding to it.

“Adonis,” she began. “I thought that you would be happy.”

“I’m happy,” he said, turning to her and smiling. But she knew Adonis’s smiles. They were so rare, and that meant that the ones she had received she had memorized in detail. This one wasn’t real. This one was tinged with something, something she couldn’t quite put a name to. But it filled her with a sense of dread.

“Adonis,” she said slowly. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing is wrong,” he said.

“I fear that there might be.”

“No,” he said. “The baby is healthy. There is not a single other thing that matters. You are safe and healthy, there is nothing else beyond that.”

The subject was closed. She could feel that. And she wanted to talk about names, and the nursery, but she didn’t think that she would be able to force him to do that. She didn’t want to force him to do it anyway. She wanted him to want this. To want their life. Was he having second thoughts about it?

“You are upset,” he said, about twenty minutes later.

“I’m not upset. You are. It’s obvious to me. If you weren’t then you would’ve engaged me in conversation about this momentous occasion in our lives.”

“Esme,” he said. “To me it makes no difference. Whether the child is a boy or a girl is immaterial. All that matters is that we will be a family. I will take care of you. All of you. I’m sorry if I seem upset. I don’t know how to… You know that I don’t know how to do this.”

But she thought about that night in the garden. When both of them had dropped their guard so much. He did know how to do this. He had a heart that beat beautifully beneath that stone chest. He might not want anyone to know about it, but the truth was, it was very real.

“Well, maybe we should name the baby after Alex.”

“Do you think that upsets me? He is one of the single most important people in my life. Far better to name the baby after him than to name it after me.”

She frowned. “You really think so?”

He looked at her, and that same bleakness she had seen in the doctor’s office was there, even if it was buried. “Yes. I think so.”