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“He called while we were eating breakfast and Oliver said something and Jake heard and then told Mum and she’s messaging me asking when I’m going to bring him home to meet everyone.”
“Oh.”
“Oh indeed.”
“Let’s just worry about the session tomorrow. Not about your family, or Jake, or Oliver meeting them. One step at a time. Now get out of my room! This assignment is due in four hours and I don’t need you moping around here!”
* * *
Seventy-two hours after my debrief with Gemma I’m making my way towards the library, heart in my mouth. I might throw up. Again. This week’s session is just covering the next reflective task and after my 93 I am feeling a bit cocky. But I still might throw up when I see Oliver.
I’m here before him, which I did expect as I’m half an hour early. What I didn’t expect is him to enter ten minutes later with two coffee cups in hand, bag slung over his shoulder.
“Hey.”
“Hey,” he smiles. “I got you a drink— chai, right?”
I can’t help the smile that creeps across my face. “Yeah, chai. Thank you.” I take a sip as Oliver settles into the booth opposite me.
His preoccupation with pulling his laptop out gives me a moment to study his face. There are dark circles under his eyes that only really pop out when he doesn’t get enough sleep. I send a silent prayer hoping that I’m not the only cause of that.
“So, anything in particular you wanted to go over? After your score last time I think you’re all set with this assignment.”
“Umm, not really. I wrote a draft that you could look over. Other than that, I think I’m all good.” The chai does nothing to settle my stomach. My heart is still working its way up my throat and the way Oliver looks at me does nothing to stop it.
“Alright. Give it here.” I pass him my laptop and sit in silence as he reads.
“Yeah, looks good. Seems like you’ve got it down pat. Just clean up the concluding sentence of the last two paragraphs.” Sliding the laptop back over to me, our hands brush for a second and I hate the way my face heats up. “Is there anything else you need help with?”
Can you kiss me again?
“No. I think I’m all good. I’ll start working through the oral presentation in the next couple of weeks.”
“Don’t stress about the oral. It’s not too hard.”
Can you please stop saying oral? I know I started it but hearing it out of his mouth just sounds…dirty.
“Well, I’ve got a lab to get to so…”
“Oh! Yeah, no worries. I’ll see you next week?” Disappointment crosses his face for a second and then he smiles politely.
“Yeah. I’ll see you then.” We both pack up. As I slide my laptop into my bag, I glance up at him over my glasses and he’s…waiting for me?
“I can walk you to class if you like?” He watches me so expectantly, hope glimmering in his eyes.
“Oh, don’t worry about it. It’s on the other side of campus from yours so…”
God, we never should have kissed. Why is this so awkward?
“Okay. See you next week then.” He leaves without a backwards glance and I have to resist the urge to slam my head into the table. Instead, I lean my head on my arms and groan. Probably too loud for a library, but no one’s paying attention to my impending breakdown. That’s too bad. It’s sure going to be interesting.
* * *
Gem:
Stop wallowing and get your ass over here! Popcorn isn’t going to pop itself
My phone buzzing on my desk draws me out of my sadness-induced study hours after I return to my room. Learning about proteins is so much more fun when you’re having a crisis. I swear.
