Page 115
“Oh. What did he want?”
“He—he kissed me.”
“Oh, Thicket, that is wonderful! I always wondered if there was something going on between you two! Well, don’t just stand there. Invite him inside! He can join us for movie night.” She bustled by, grabbing the bowls of popcorn Thicket had been about to prepare.
“That isn’t what I want.”
Her mother stilled, setting the popcorn back down. “That’s okay, sweetie. We don’t have to do movie night. We could play board games instead.”
“That’s not what I meant,” Thicket said. “It just… feels wrong.”
“What does?”
“Everything. This house, this life—you.” Her mother flinched. Guilt writhed in her gut. “Something just isn’t right,” she said, the words falling into a whisper.
“Thicket, honey, you are scaring me.”
Visions flashed in her mind.
A horse made of mist.
A city covered in vines.
A castle bathed in purple light.
“This isn’t real,” Thicket said.
More visions—no… memories—came back to her.
The glint of a sword, the gleam of a smile—
A pair of pleading dark brown eyes.
“This is a dream.”
Her mother sighed. “Thicket, honey, we have been over this. This here is real, not that fantasy world in your dreams with princes and magic and lost sisters. Besides, you don’t need that world anymore. You can go back to school, you have me, your job, Jett. Everything you want is here.”
The image of a finely crafted sword surged in her mind, engraved with intricate weaving vines. And dangling from it was an enchanting silver engagement ring.
“This isn’t what I want anymore.”
And then, she remembered.
Lavender… She had been fighting Lavender. She had won, and then—
Her heart lurched. Marcellus. He was still there, still with her.
She needed to get back.
“How can you be so ungrateful?” her mother spat. She was no longer looking at her with concern, but with a face so twisted with rage Thicket froze, rooted to the spot.
For a second, she didn’t see the face of her mother, with her light brown eyes and identical unruly curls she tried so desperately to tame. She saw her sister, lines of hatred cut deep across her face.
“You have been given everything and yet nothing is ever good enough for you. How dare you think you deserve more than you have already been given, you selfish, spiteful—”
“I am grateful,” Thicket said. “But that doesn’t mean I have to settle for less. My whole life, I have tried to be what other people wanted me to be. And I tried, so, so hard yet no matter what I did, at the end of the day I still let someone down.” Tears stung her eyes, closing around her throat. But she pressed on, unwilling to back down. “I can’t live my life for others because no matter what I do, someone will always be there to tell me that it wasn’t enough. I realize now that I don’t need anyone to validate my efforts. I am the only one who gets to decide my worth.”
As much as she hated it, Lavender had been right in a way. Thicket could only count on herself to be accepted. She was blessed enough to have people in her life who loved her for her, but the responsibility wasn’t on them to make her feel loved and wanted.
