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"No."

"A ghost?"

"No."

"A fairy?"

"No."

"A wizard?"

"No." This time the voice sounded annoyed.

I tapped my chin thoughtfully. "Hmm."

The voice groaned. "You are going to keep guessing every magical creature you've ever heard of, aren't you?"

"I wasn't..." I smiled. "...but now that you mention it."

I waited, but there was no answer, just silence. "I could make a list."

"You absolutely could."

"I alphabetize things."

"I know."

"My pantry labels are color-coded."

"I know that too. I also know that paprika and cayenne each have their own shelf. I just don't know... why?"

"So they're organized."

Another silence. Longer this time. Finally⁠—

"I miss the plague."

I stared into the trees.

"I'm sorry..." A crow cawed overhead. "...did you just say you miss the plague?"

"It was quieter."

My mouth slowly fell open. "You've got to be kidding me."

"I assure you, I have never been more serious."

I laughed. I couldn't help it. The sound burst out before I could stop it, echoing through the trees. "Oh, that's terrible."

"It was glorious."

"It was not!"

"People stayed indoors."

"They were dying!"

"They were remarkably quiet while doing so."