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I almost smile.
Almost.
Me: Hands on your lap.
Maggie: They are.
The image comes too easily. Her at the desk. Tired. Warm. Trying to joke around the fact that she listened.
I type slower.
Me: Now breathe.
She answers quickly.
Maggie: Oh, I hate you a little.
Me: No, you don’t.
Maggie: No.
Maggie: I don’t.
My hand closes around the edge of the counter again. The admission is small. Still, enough.
I think about telling her to touch herself.
Maggie: I should be embarrassed.
Me: Are you?
Maggie: Not enough.
Me: Good.
Maggie: There it is again.
Me: You like it.
A longer pause.
Then: That is a very confident thing to say to a stranger.
Me: Am I wrong?
The screen stays still.
Five seconds. Ten.
Then: No.
I picture her at the desk, knees drawn apart under it, notes open and useless in front of her. Pen abandoned. Phone in one hand. The other slipping under fabric because I told her to put it there.
I imagine telling her to use two fingers. Slowly.
Not because she’s impatient. Because I am.
I imagine making her keep the phone in her hand while she does it. Making her answer me. Making her tell me when she’s wet. Making her stop before she comes.