Page 30

Nisa

“NISA.”

Somebody shook my arm.

“Nisa. Wake up.”

“Kerr?” I mumbled, my sleep-​clouded brain having trouble computing where I was and who was speaking.

In my mind’s eye Kerr was running out of my house, cradling my precious Izzy to his broad chest, his strong, muscle-​corded arms holding her securely. I flung myself around him, the heat of his body flooding mine and the planes of his chest hard against my cheek as I listened to his rapidly beating heart. “Nisa,” he said, in a decidedly female voice . . .

I opened my eyes, and Rona’s face was swimming in front of me. I blinked, and her features came into focus, the waiting area in the emergency room becoming clear around us.

I shifted in the chair I was sprawled in and yelped as a bolt of pain shot through my neck.

“Ooft,” Rona said, a sympathetic look on her face. “Sleeping in a plastic hospital chair is not good for one’s comfort.”

I groaned as I attempted to straighten out, my muscles singing a symphony of protestation. “You can say that again.”

I tried and failed to get out of the chair, and in the end, Rona had to help lift me out. I stood folded in on myself for a few seconds, gently easing my spine up into a standing position, vertebra by vertebra.

The waiting area was quiet, with only a couple of others present along with the tired-​eyed receptionist behind the desk. The wall clock next to the sad-​looking Christmas tree showed that it was five a.m.

“Thanks for coming to get me,” I told Rona as she folded me into a hug. “I’m sorry to wake you.”

“Don’t be daft. I’m glad you called.” She released me, placing her hands on my shoulders to study my face, as if checking for fire damage. “Are you okay?”

I nodded. “Absolutely.” Apart from feeling like a prize idiot for overloading my power socket, causing a fire that endangered not only Izzy and me but Kerr too. Plus not checking the batteries in my smoke detector since Drew left. The shame weighed so heavily on my shoulders I felt as if my back would break.

I was also having difficulty parsing the emotions associated with my nemesis charging across the road, all heroic, to come to my and Izzy’s rescue. I shuddered as I recalled him entering the house, and the sickening gut twist of terror that he might get injured.

“Is Kerr being kept in?” Rona asked.

“I think so,” I said, disappointment swirling in my gut. “They can’t tell me anything, obviously. But they gave me a strong hint that I should bugger off after I made noises about waiting around for him.”

She smiled. “I see. Hard when you’re not the one in charge, isn’t it?”

“Yeah,” I grumbled, taking the coat she offered me as she led the way to the exit. I was still wearing my smoke-​scented pink satin pj’s. “I like being the one telling the randoms to get off my ward, not the other way around.”

The frost was sparkling on the ground as we exited, like Christmas fairy dust. My boots left little imprints in the ice crystals as we walked. Well, my borrowed boots, anyway. Sally had given them to me before the ambulance took me away because I’d left the house with nothing on my feet.

Rona’s car wasn’t far away, and I climbed into her passenger seat and buckled in as she started the engine.

“How do you think the fire started?” she asked, taking us away from the hospital. I stared out the window toward the front door of the emergency room, agonizing over how Kerr was and when he would be getting home. I swung my eyes back round, concentrating on the road instead of the sickening guilt crawling up my gullet. “It was my fault. I overloaded the plug socket. And I forgot to check the smoke alarm. Batteries were dead. I’m such a fucking numpty.”

She reached over to squeeze my hand. “Don’t be hard on yourself.”

“I’m not. I was an absolute idiot and I should’ve known better.” I sighed, sinking down into my seat. “I’ve gotten too obsessed over this feud with Kerr. I was so determined to get one up on him that I took some immensely stupid risks.”

Rona stayed quiet, letting me talk. I knew what she was doing; it was how she was a master at getting her patients’ worries out of them.

“I think I let myself get too sad about my first Christmas without Drew. I think . . . I think I’ve poured all of my hurt toward Drew into rage against Kerr, and that’s why my judgment has been poor where he’s concerned.”

Rona glanced over, sending a sympathetic expression my way. “That makes sense.”

I puffed out a breath. “Well, don’t I feel like a complete tool, since he came to my rescue and also saved Izzy.”

Rona chuckled quietly. “Changed your mind about him?”