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Rafe might have mumbled something behind him about not having any intention of killing him, but Theo ignored it.
Ryder glanced back at him, a grim look on his face. He shook his head. “See, you’re not over it yet.”
Theo stopped in his tracks, unable to go another step. Rafe grumbled behind him.
“What the fuck, Ryder?” Theo demanded.
The man turned to face him. “We never thought you three would go through with it,” he said, shocking Theo into silence. “But we did think our next Alpha should be the man who stood up to Devon; the man who finally ended our suffering. You weren’t the only one he manipulated.” Ryder shook his head, Theo’s pain reflected in his face.
“But you did it. You all got in. You all fought. And what the hell were any of us supposed to do about it? Question our current and future Alphas all at the same time?”
Theo flinched. Christ, Ryder was right. No one could have stopped them. That wasn’t how anything went in their pack. The Alpha’s word was law. Even if he was a power-hungry sociopath like dear old Dad.
How could the pack go against the four men with all the power? Somehow, Theo had never managed to think about it like that, about how it must have felt for everyone else on that day. The fight, the chaos, the fear of who would lead them. A pack without an Alpha was like a wolf without a head. It couldn’t survive.
“Would you have let him do it?” He hadn’t meant to ask the question but being here, he just needed to know. He needed to know if they’d really intended to let his brothers finish him off.
“We didn’t know, Theo,” Ryder said, his eyes dark with the memory. “We didn’t know what Devon was planning. We thought it was a fight like every other one. That asshole just loved to shove it in our faces. How strong his sons were, how ruthless. How you three could tear us to shreds if you wanted to.”
“I didn’t—”
Ryder shook his head. “He used you. The three of you. He manipulated you and he did it to keep us in line.” He held Theo’s gaze. “But no, we wouldn’t have let them kill you. If Rafe hadn’t shifted when he did, we were going in there to get you out.”
“You were?”
“We were damn well going to try. The whole thing was fucked. It was so out of control we didn’t even realize what was happening at first. But Devon wasn’t calling it off. And you three just kept going. We didn’t know what to do.”
“Oh.” For all these months, Theo had assumed everyone had stood by and watched him nearly die, but of course it was more complicated than that.
“Devon can rot in hell.”
“Hear, hear.” Rafe raised an imaginary glass.
“Ryder came to get me that day,” Fee said. “He’s how I knew what was going on.”
She’d never told him that before. He never really questioned how Fee knew to come that day; it just made sense that she was there.
“I thought she should know,” Ryder said. “I mean since she’s your … uh … since you’re such good … friends?” He looked stricken, like he said more than he meant to. Theo just shook his head, feeling suddenly like everyone knew more about his life than he did.
“Yeah, well, thanks, I guess.” What would have happened if Fee hadn’t been there? Would Rafe still have ended the whole thing? Where would Theo have gone if she hadn’t led him away, hadn’t kept him safe?
He didn’t really want to think about it.
They started walking again. Fee’s fingers were still laced with Theo’s, their delicate warmth keeping him grounded even as the earth had shifted beneath his feet.
More what-ifs crowded his mind. If Ryder was this accepting of him, was everyone? Could he have gone back to his pack after his father died? What about him and Fee then? Could she have come with him? Could he have kept his promise to her after all? He was sure there were still plenty of older wolves, his father’s closest men, who would never accept her, but what the fuck did he care about them?
He didn’t have time to consider this alternate reality before the familiar green tents appeared in the clearing. He was back. There were a few more trailers than Theo remembered, but other than that, the wolf camp looked exactly like it had the night he’d left.
Already, people had started to gather, sensing that visitors were on their way. The faces blurred together, a sea of memories, good and bad. He barely had time to register any of it before Ryder was calling out to everyone, announcing who he had found in the woods. And Rafe was charging forward demanding to see Knox, and Theo was left on the edge of the camp with Fee by his side, still trying to get his balance.
He watched as a group of wolves followed Rafe and Ruby into the camp, already denying any knowledge of where their Alpha had wandered off to. Theo should go with them, but he was frozen again, his feet refusing to move him forward, the past and the present colliding too violently for him to continue.
He ignored the rest of the crowd and made his way to his mother’s trailer.
She emerged, her expression like a thundercloud. Her gaze flicked from Theo to Fee, a low growl emanating from her throat. Her green eyes, the same as his, were nothing more than slits. Fee gripped tighter to his hand, like she was afraid the woman would attack.
But Theo knew better.
