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His memories flashed back to another dark night, in a different bed, when he’d been the one near death. He remembered when his whole body had ached from the beating he’d taken from his brothers, when his soul had hurt from leaving his pack, when there’d been nothing before him but an empty black space where the rest of his life was meant to go. He had been lost and hurting, and it had been Phoebe who had held him together.

So that’s what he would do for her.

He would physically hold her together if he had to.

He would will her back to health.

Theo laid down beside her, lifting the blanket to cover them both. He pulled Fee to his chest and wrapped himself around her. She gave another small whimper in her sleep and then burrowed her head into the space between his neck and shoulder, her shallow breath skating across his bare skin.

He ignored how frail she felt, how her bones were so much closer to the surface than they’d been only a few weeks ago. He savored the feel of her heartbeat and the rise and fall of her chest against his.

“Theo,” she murmured and the sound of his name on her lips, however weak, was the sweetest he’d ever heard in his life.

“I’m here, Fee. I’ve got you. I’m not leaving.”

She burrowed deeper into his side, and he held her through the night.

Fee’s dreams were fevered and disjointed, but she could swear she heard Theo’s voice whispering to her. She could smell his wild rain scent.

“I’m here. I won’t leave you. You’re mine.”

Mine.

She’d thought that word so many times before; wouldn’t it be nice if it was true? Wouldn’t it be nice to belong to someone. If only she could rise to the surface of this thick sleep and tell Theo she felt the same, that he was hers. She was ready to stop fighting it.

If only he wasn’t a dream, a memory of the time he’d spoken those words to her before. Always in dreams, never in the light of day.

Fee wished they could be honest with each other. She wished she’d told him the truth, so many truths. She wished he was here, and she wasn’t dying.

She could feel his weight beside her, his arms around her. This was a very good dream. She smiled in her sleep, and she could swear Theo’s words whispered across her ear.

“I love you, Phoebe.”

Theo took the cool compress left on the bedside table by Runa and placed it on Fee’s forehead. It was morning and he could hear dryads moving around in the kitchen. They’d already brought in some kind of foul-smelling tea and dry toast that Theo had left on the tray. But the damp cloth he felt like he could get some use out of.

He pressed a hand to the side of Fee’s face. She was still warm but not as bad as last night. He hadn’t left her side except to use the bathroom, and when he had she’d let out such a pitiful whimper, that he’d rushed right back to bed as soon as he was done.

Fee had clung to him all night but hadn’t spoken a word other than his name. Her eyes remained closed and her skin was so pale in the light of day that Theo wanted to howl in pain at the sight of it.

What had he done?

No, he couldn’t go down that road again. He’d berated himself enough last night in the darkest hours for abandoning her, for lying to her, for everything. But his guilt wouldn’t wake her.

He took a sip of the terrible tea, brewed to keep his strength up according to Gert, and linked his hand with Fee’s. He leaned back against her headboard. He had a lot to explain to her, so he might as well start now when she couldn’t argue.

“I should have told you sooner, Fee. But I was…” He glanced down at her sleeping form and somehow the words were hard to say even with her still asleep. He swallowed his emotions and went on. “I was scared. Scared I would let you down. Ironic, I know, considering how this whole mess turned out, but I just didn’t think I could make you happy.”

Fee’s soft breathing filled the silence.

“And I know I hurt you. I hurt you so many times over the years, but I never meant to. I never wanted to. Again, I know, ironic.”

He blew out a long sigh. “I wish you were awake to argue with me. I wish you would yell at me and tell me I’m an asshole, because I am an asshole, Fee. I didn’t realize you wanted me to … to claim you as mine. I thought…”

He trailed off. He didn’t know what he thought, just that he’d broken his promise to his best friend and that she didn’t want him anymore. He thought he could have her as a friend but nothing more.

Fee’s fingers flexed in his and then gave a slight squeeze. Theo’s gaze flew to hers, but her eyes were still closed.

“Fee, can you hear me?” He was breathless with hope and fear and love. “Please, Fee, wake up.”