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Chapter 34

MEDRA

This is fucking unbearable,” I burst out, as soon as we reached Blake’s room and shut the door behind us. I’d been staying with Blake since the room I shared with Florence felt far too empty.

“Un-bear-able?” Blake asked, his lips twitching.

“Gods, I can’t believe you have a sense of humor at a time like this,” I snapped, pulling my hair out of its tie and letting it fall loose around my shoulders. I cracked my neck, trying to relieve some tension.

“The dwarves are here. Nyxaris is gone. We can’t tell them where Nyxaris is gone,” I said listing our quandaries.

“Well, we could tell them. But they won’t like it.”

“Very helpful. Zaira looks like she’d like nothing better than to murder us all.”

“And poor Rodriguez isn’t the only member of the Emberwatch, his secret order,” Blake supplied.

My lips twitched. “That part is a little funny.” I snorted. “So secret the rest of the order didn’t even know he was a member.”

“You forgot the talking bear that wants to murder me,” Blake commented.

“Hawl won’t murder you,” I said dismissively.

“Not when you’re looking, anyhow.”

“Better watch your back, Drakharrow,” I quipped. “Oh look, just like the old days.” But when I looked at him properly, I saw that despite his attempts at humor, his face was strained. His shoulders were too tight. “What happened at the Sanctum before I got there? What did you learn?”

Blake strolled over to a side table and poured himself a drink. “Nothing good.”

I walked up behind him and set my palms on his shoulders. “Tell me.” I leaned my face against his back, breathing in the scent of him. He turned to face me, and I saw the glass in his hand was already empty. “Should you be drinking when …”

“When what?” He put the glass down and poured himself a second drink.

I sighed. “What’s going on, Blake?”

“You mean, besides the entire world being fucked to shit?”

“Yes, that,” I said flatly.

He looked at me. “I’m surprised you’re so calm. That you’re—”

“That I’m what?”

“That you’re not furious at me, Pendragon,” he said, his voice sharper now, like he couldn’t hold it back anymore. “That you aren’t angry at me every moment of every day.”

“How would that possibly help?” I shook my head. “None of this is your fault.”

“Some of it is certainly my fucking fault.” His voice was rough. “Like the fact that I can’t even take you to find Florence.”

I bit my lip. “Not your fault.” I knew if I let him have that, he’d drown in the guilt.

“You’re my rider, but you’ve never even flown on my back. I’m a pathetic excuse for a dragon.” He tried to chuckle. “No wonder you shot me.”

I touched his jaw. “Blake.”

“Yeah?”

“You’re an idiot.” I slid my hand down to the base of his neck, forcing him to dip his head down just a little. “Look at me, Blake. You’re a dragon. We have another dragon on our side. Do you know how amazing that is? Nyxaris is gone, but we have you.” I took a deep breath. “Yes, everything that’s happening is … a lot. But on the plus side, everything is going exactly how Nyxaris said it would.”