Page 107

I’d loved him before I’d even known he was a man. And if he’d never changed, I would have had my dreams. They would have been enough for me. But instead, I’d had love. I’d had his touch. His protection. I’d had the chance to tell him I loved him—and to know he loved me.

The memories were so bright they hurt. They were the vines with which I built my garden walls high, placing them one by one like you might lay stones to build a bridge.

But when I opened my eyes, I saw iron bars and rough stone. Around me were other cells filled with children. Someone was always crying. But the saddest part to me was that most of the children were silent. They’d given up crying. They’d given up hoping. All they could do now was wait. I looked out at the cell across the hall from mine. A little girl’s face stared back at me through the bars, her face streaked with dirt. She was a highblood child, but it didn’t matter what she was. She was just a little girl, and she didn’t deserve to be here.

I knew that whatever they were going to do to me next, they wouldn’t care if the children heard it. Whenever they took someone, we could all hear what happened next. The begging and the screams. They wanted the sound to travel. They wanted the screams to turn our hope to dust. The children were more obedient that way.

I took a deep breath, then let it out slowly, forcing my body to be calm. I would be calm, and I would be brave. Not because I really was brave, but because the children would be listening. And because my screams were the only thing I had left that they couldn’t take without my permission. They would have my body. They would have my pain. Maybe they really would even have my soul. But up until that moment, that very last moment when they did whatever they were going to do, I would still be me. I would hold onto myself until then. I wouldn’t break.

I’d already had plenty of time to picture it. To imagine what it would feel like to have my will taken away, my thoughts become someone else’s. Would there be anything left of me at all when they were through? Would I be watching my body move from somewhere behind my own eyes?

The worst part was what Nyxaris would feel. I put a hand to my throat, trying to fight the panic that was building. He’d already gone through this once before. He would be terrified for me. He would feel so much pain. In the end, maybe that was the worst part of this, knowing he’d be in pain and that there would be nothing I could do, nothing I could say. We’d had our last moments together, and we hadn’t even known it.

Tears pricked my eyes. It wasn’t fair. It was hard and cruel and so terribly unfair.

I looked across the hall at the little girl. It was unfair for us all, not just for me. Not just for Nyxaris. I’d already told the children I had a dragon. I’d told them he would come for us. That when he got here, he would save us all, and we would take the children away and find their families and make them safe. They hadn’t believed me, of course. Maybe they even thought I was mad.

I studied the little girl’s face. Maybe she believed me a little. Sometimes I thought there was still something hopeful in her eyes. But other times, I felt guilty for saying anything to the children at all. Because the truth was I was pretty sure Nyxaris was going to be too late. I knew he couldn’t possibly be dead—or else why would they still have wanted me? But he didn’t know where I was. And time was cruel. And Viktor Drakharrow had been planning this for probably far longer than I’d even been alive.

Somewhere in the distance, a door opened and clanged shut. Footsteps echoed along the hall. Some of the children started to wail. I watched the little girl press back from the bars. I wanted to tell her not to worry. That they weren’t coming for children today.

My heart beat faster. This was it.

I would be brave. Right up to the last moment. For the children. For Medra. For my mother. For Nyxaris.

But oh, Bloodmaiden. How I wished I could have heard my dragon’s voice in my head one last time.

Chapter 37

BLAKE

Bloodwing Academy

A Few Days Earlier

I stared at the man in the doorframe. “Who the hell are you?” A highblood man stood there. I didn’t recognize him, but Pendragon seemed like she did.

“It’s …” She sounded choked-up. I came up behind her, putting my hands on her hips possessively.

I narrowed my eyes, looking at the man. He was tall, well-built. Older than me. Closer to Rodriguez’s age, which meant he had to be even older. There was something familiar about his eyes. They were a bright, clear amber. “Have we met?” I asked bluntly.

He smiled faintly. “We have.”

“Blake.” Medra’s voice was hoarse. “Don’t you see …?” Pendragon looked like she might pass out. Meanwhile, the man was still just standing there smiling—fucking arrogant highblood, always thinking they could have whatever they wanted. Well, I didn’t know what this one wanted, but he wasn’t getting it.

“See what? Whatever you want, you can come back tomorrow. Or, better yet, send a letter.” I reached for the door, intending to shut it in the man’s face.

“Blake.” Pendragon’s hand clutched my arm.

I looked down at her. “All right, will someone please tell me what the fuck is going on?”

The highblood man grimaced. “Look, we all need to talk. I think you’re going to want to hear what I have to say, Blake.”

“Just tell me who the fuck you are,” I demanded.

The man glanced over his shoulder, checking to see if the hall was clear. Then he turned back. “That’s easy. My name is Nyxaris.”

For a second, my mind stopped processing. Then my mouth may have dropped open just a bit. “You’re who?”