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I tried to wrench free, but he wouldn’t let go. His fingers curled around my arm, not hard enough to hurt but enough that I was reminded of his strength. Slowly, I looked up. What I saw there stole the air from my lungs. Guilt, longing, and something close to panic mixed in his eyes. The mask of composure was gone, and what was left was raw and helpless and inevitable all at once.

“Tell me you feel it, too,” he demanded. “This pull between us.”

The wind howled around us. I refused to answer.

Kage’s eyes narrowed, sharpening with pain. “When a wolf finds his true mate, he knows.”

It was the most unfair thing he could have said. Every word was a knife twist—for the Bloodmaiden knew how desperately I wanted to believe it. How much I wanted his certainty to cover me like a shield. How much I wanted to accept his strength, his heat, his absolution. But he wasn’t offering any of those things, was he? Not truly. He was Florence Shen’s shield now. And I was still standing in the dark, cold and alone.

I tore myself free of his grasp, the absence of his touch more bitter than any winter wind, hope shattering like smashed ice. Then I held his eyes for the span of one long breath before saying, in a voice flat and cutting, “It’s a good thing I’m no wolf, then.”

I turned on my heel and walked away—back to the castle, to the prison of my own creation.

CHAPTER 20

FLORENCE

A feeling of wonderful contentment filled me as I reached the greenhouse. I shoved my shoulder against the cool iron door, pushing it open and letting the humid air from inside roll over me like a warm blanket. The great glass house, covered with its arched cage of greenblack iron, always felt like a world away from the castle’s clanging bells and intense school politics. Here, surrounded by raised beds of dirt overflowing with fragrant herbs and colorful flowers, I could just be.

I moved to a wooden table in the last row, dropping the heavy stack of books in my arms with relief. I’d come a little early, but Professor Allenvale didn’t usually mind. I glanced around and peered at the back of the greenhouse. In fact, she didn’t seem to be here yet. I quickly went back up to the desk at the front to sign in—a new step that I was trying to get myself used to. I wrote down my name, my house, and the time I’d arrived. Then I went over to the supply cabinet and grabbed the materials I needed for my experiments, carefully logging every item I took from the cabinet in another new book that had been placed there. Some items—deemed too unsafe for blightborn students—were kept in a separate, locked cupboard. Fortunately, the things I needed hadn’t been deemed prohibited or unsafe … yet.

I returned to my seat, arranging everything carefully in front of me, just the way I liked. Just as I finished, the door to the greenhouse swung open, and Professor Allenvale marched inside, her purpleand greenstreaked braid swinging behind her purple House Orphos robes. To my surprise, Professor Rodriguez was with her. He didn’t usually visit the greenhouse. His portions of the class were always taught in his usual lecture hall inside the castle.

I raised a timid hand to wave, but neither of them noticed. They were deep in conversation and seemed to be arguing.

Professor Allenvale dropped the papers she was carrying onto her desk at the front of the greenhouse—I assumed she’d marked our essays over the weekend and would be handing them out today. I chewed my lower lip and leaned forward as if by doing so I’d somehow be able to see the mark I’d received.

“… cannot believe you’d have the audacity—” Allenvale’s voice floated back to me “—no, the stupidity to act this way. You’re jeopardizing…”

Blushing a little at overhearing my two favorite teachers arguing, I eyed Rodriguez. He did look rather awful—collar askew, eyes bloodshot. The sharp tang of cheap brandy drifted through the sweetness of the herbs lining the sides of the greenhouse. But I decided it was none of my business. I tried my best to ignore them as they continued to raise their voices, opening one of my books and hunching over it. I scanned the page, doublechecking a few details, then opened my notebook, carefully labeled The Synergistic Applications of Emberfern and Mirthleaf, and scribbled some quick notes.

Next, I pulled on a pair of gloves and reached for a pair of tongs. Carefully, I pinched a frond of emberfern from the plant in front of me. The fern’s edges glowed orange, and a single drop of sap hissed as it struck the hard metal surface of the worktable. I pulled my hand back quickly. Emberfern was volatile. Lunaya Orphos had warned us about this months ago—in fact, she was the reason my interest in the plant had been piqued. I could still remember her voice softly describing the herb’s potential. She’d mentioned how emberfern was often paired with mirthleaf to stabilize it. But when I’d gone to look up more about emberfern later, I had to question her use of the word often. There was very little literature in the Bloodwing library about emberfern or its use in conjunction with mirthleaf.

Not for the first time, I wished Lunaya was still with us. I could ask her about the plant, perhaps even share my ideas for my endof-term project with her. I swallowed the lump in my throat and tried to focus. I’d been far luckier that night. I’d had friends there to protect me. I knew they’d tried to save Lunaya as well. But, well, that had been impossible.

A sharp crash yanked me out of my reverie, and I dropped the tongs. Rodriguez had knocked a tray of glass flasks off Professor Allenvale’s desk. He stood there looking sheepish as she exclaimed loudly and reached for a broom.

“We’ll discuss this more after your class, Vasanti,” I heard him mutter as he rubbed his temples and headed towards the door.

Students slowly drifted in. A few gave Rodriguez strange looks as they passed him.

Allenvale looked around the greenhouse as students began to take their seats. “All right, class, we’ll spend today as we previously discussed. All of you should have some idea of your topic for the endof-term project by now. If you don’t, this is your last chance to run any ideas by me or ask for my help in choosing one. Please approach my desk if you’re struggling. I’m happy to help.” She looked down at the stack of parchment in front of her.“Professor Rodriguez and I have also marked your exams from Wintermark.You may come and receive your marks at the end of today’s class.”

I’m not sure little fireheart can wait that long.

I scowled. Don’t be ridiculous. I’m perfectly capable of waiting—I checked the clock on the wall—fiftynine minutes. I stared at the second hand as it ticked slowly.

Nyxaris yawned. How interminable the hour will be.

Less than an hour, I said automatically. Fifty-eight minutes.

The dragon laughed, a great, rich rumbling sound that echoed in my mind.

I’m so glad I amuse you. But my voice had no real ire.

Amuse, yes, but also frustrate. To waste an hour in the greenhouse when you could be practicing your riding …

Now who’s impatient? I’ll meet you as soon as my class is done, just as we arranged.