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“Oh, it was obvious,” I agreed. “But it’s not enough.” I searched for words. “It’s not like you to … to do something like that.”
She stopped. “Why? Because I’m blightborn? Because we aren’t supposed to hurt highbloods? I mean, not really hurt them.”
“That’s not what I meant …” It was exactly what I meant.
“Why the fuck should I hold back, Blake? Tell me. I really want to know. I should have killed her. She probably deserves it. And at least then she …”
“Why? Why does she deserve it?” I demanded. “What happened?”
She looked away. “Just a little blightborn bullying as usual.”
“Larissa was part of it?”
She nodded, her face furious. “They can hurt us. They can drink us. They can kill us. So why can’t we kill them?”
“Mostly because you can’t,” I snapped. “You’re not capable of it. Well, most blightborn aren’t. And if you are, well, good for you. But do I have to remind you there’s only one of you and a hell of a lot more of them? If you’d killed Larissa back there, what the fuck do you think would have happened?”
She tightened her lips. “I don’t know. Enlighten me.”
“They could have surrounded you,” I said, a hint of fear creeping into my voice. “Theo and I, we might not have been enough. You wouldn’t have been able to take them all on. Not to mention the trouble you’d have been in …”
“Another tribunal?” she asked dully.
“Something like that. Or just a really fucking quick execution.” I ran my hands through my hair. “I want to protect you. I need to protect you. But if you act like that, then who knows what could happen.”
CHAPTER 7
MEDRA
What about what I need?” I said softly, turning to face him.
He stared down at me. “What you need?”
I nodded. The truth was, I felt like I was going to explode. I could feel myself splitting. Breaking. Ever since the night in the courtyard. Ever since I’d lost Florence. No, not just her. Ever since I’d lost Nyxaris. Lost my mother. Lost my trust in Rodriguez. I felt numb inside. But also on fire. Could both things be true? I wanted to stop holding everything in. Stop pretending. I didn’t want to be calm anymore. I didn’t want to be good. I wanted to burn.
It hit me like a blow to the chest, sudden and absolute. I didn’t want to run away from Blake. I wanted to run straight towards him. I wanted his mouth, his hands, his teeth. I wanted him to forget everything with me, forget to be careful.
“Come upstairs with me,” I said, my voice low and throaty. “Come back to my room.”
His body went still. “What?”
“Come up to my room with me. Right now.”
The air between us ignited. No touch. No magic. No blood. Just the mere words. The thought of what we could do together. I saw it happen, saw the flicker in his eyes. For a moment, sheer dis-belief. Then, the spark. The heat. I drew a shaky breath, watching his jaw tighten—but not in anger. His nostrils flared. He was struggling to breathe. So was I.
He shook his head tightly. “I … can’t.”
I blinked. “What?”
“I can’t enter the Avari tower. It would be seen as a challenge to Kage. A huge sign of disrespect.”
I stared at him. I didn’t give a shit. The thought of Blake and Kage at one another’s throats again like in the library that one day was … well, kind of fucking hot. But Blake was probably right. I wanted to be reckless. But not in quite that way. “Fine,” I said flatly.
He looked confused. “Fine?”
I spun away from him and stormed down the corridor to our right, towards one of the castle wings full of classrooms. Blake caught up, falling in step with me easily. “What are you doing?”
I yanked open a classroom door. A highblood professor looked up from a lecture with a stern glare. Fifty highblood students from House Mortis turned their heads towards us. “Not this one,” I muttered, slamming it closed again.
