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I pushed open the door to Blake’s room, Orcades’s last words still echoing in my mind, my body tense and trembling with a mix of emotions. It had been a very, very long night. I needed a moment to lie down, to compose myself. But as I stepped inside, the first thing I saw was a shadow. I stopped.
Blake sat on the windowsill, shirtless and barefoot, one leg dangling out over the side of the tower, the other drawn up so his fore-arm could rest on his knee. His face was in profile as he looked out at the sunrise coming up over the far horizon. A new day was dawning. In its light, Blake was more heart-achingly beautiful than ever before. Only a pair of faded black trousers clung to his hips. I stared at his body, at the black ink crawling over his torso: dragons. Always dragons. Serpentine bodies coiling and crawling over his back and chest, like shackles of black iron.
For the first time, I saw them in a different light. Not merely as stylized decorations but as a warning, a confession, and a sentence, all rolled into one—tethering him to some dark purpose. In the burnished gold light of the dawn, his hair shone silver. He reminded me of a statue. Carved from something cruel and lovely … and not quite mortal.
My heart began to thud. Because I knew when his gaze turned towards mine nothing would ever be the same.
I pushed the door carefully shut behind me, lifting the latch into place, then leaned back against the door.
“How’d you know I’d be here?” He spoke without turning.
My heart sped up. He’d known I was here, probably as soon as I’d stepped into the room.
“I didn’t. We thought you’d … flown away. I just needed somewhere to be. To sleep. I needed …” I looked over at the bed and swallowed. “I needed to feel close to you.”
He didn’t answer.
“What about you?” I said carefully. “Why are you here?”
“I thought this would be as good a place to do it as any. But then I thought, what if you looked out the window? What if you saw?” He shook his head slowly, still refusing to look at me. “So I just sat here. It’s peaceful—not that I deserve any peace. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for you to find me like this.”
“Do it?” I was horrified. “What do you mean, do it? Do you mean … jump?” I started towards the window.
Instantly he held out a hand. “Stop. Don’t come any closer to me. I mean it, Pendragon.”
A lump choked my throat. “You can’t be serious.”
“Serious as the grave.”
“Fuck you, Blake. Turn around and look at me when you say that. Look me in the eyes.” I watched him breathe in and out slowly. Then he turned his head. His face was stone. His gray-and-red eyes were cold. “Fine. If that’s what you want.”
“What I want?” I choked out. “I didn’t know any of this was about what I wanted.”
He lashed out. “You think I wanted this?”
“I don’t know. I don’t know anything. But you went to the Dragon Court, didn’t you? You did something with Vorago.”
“I fucked up,” he said flatly. “Like I always do.”
“Don’t do that.” I shook my head. “Don’t take the easy way out.”
“The easy way out?” His eyes flashed. “I’m trying to take responsibility. Pendragon, I killed children tonight. Like your father.”
A sob broke from my throat. “I know. I know that. But throwing yourself out a godsdamned window? That isn’t how you make things right.”
“No? What did your good old dad do? Tell me that.”
I didn’t want to tell him. Couldn’t. That story ended in death.
“I’m bad for you,” he continued. “Dangerous.”
I gave a bitter laugh. “You’ve always been bad for me. You’ve always been dangerous.”
“So why do you keep coming back?” he roared, half rising from the windowsill.“Get out. Stay away from me. Save yourself. Because I can’t do it. I know that now. I’ve tried. I’ve tried and I’ve tried, and now just look at me, Medra. I’ve fucked up worse than ever before. Trying to do that.Trying to save you from myself.”
The tears were running down my face freely now. “What do you mean?”
“There was a dragon in me. For months I’ve been hiding it. Last night …” He took a breath. “Last night it nearly fucking killed you. I almost killed you. I almost drained you dry.”
