Page 91

She’s shaking. Or I am. Probably both.

I ease out slow, both of us watching again, and the sight of me leaving her—her name wet, what I left in her—almost gets me hard again.

“Look at that pretty mess,” I murmur, mostly to myself.

“Did you—fuck, Simon, did you come?”

She stares at me like I did something wrong.

“Uh. Yes?” I’m hesitant to answer, because the look on her face is not the look I wanted after the first time I’ve been inside her in four years.

“Fuck. Fuck.”

She jolts out of bed so fast she nearly knocks me over. She’s across the room before I’ve even sat up, heading for the ensuite like the floor’s on fire. I scramble after her—still half-stupid from coming—and she shuts the door in my face.

“Blaire?” I brace a hand on the frame. “What just happened? What’s wrong?”

“I’m not on anything!”

My heart stutters.

I know I said I wanted more kids. I did not mean now. I wanted to do this right. I talked to Chance and Carter about proposing soon. I was going to ask Richard. Fuck. Richard will kill me if I get her pregnant again before I’ve even put a ring on her.

“Simon, did you hear me?”

Her voice snaps me back. I realize I haven’t heard anything she’s said in the last few seconds. Just the blood in my ears.

“Uh. Yeah. Sorry. What did you say?”

The door opens a crack. Her face is flushed, eyes too bright “Can you go and get a Plan B, please?”

“Yes.” I’m already moving, tugging on whatever clothes I can find on the floor. “I’ll be fast, lock the door behind me.”

She hasn’t come out of the bathroom. She’s sitting on the closed toilet lid when I push the door the rest of the way, elbows on her knees, hands in her hair.

I crouch in front of her. “Hey. I’ve got it. Twenty minutes, there and back. Pharmacy on 12th is open until eleven.”

“I should have said something before.” Her voice is small and furious at herself. “I thought about it. I thought about condoms and I still—” She laughs once. “I wanted you so badly I didn’t stop. That’s how we got Theo. That’s exactly how we got Theo, Simon. I know exactly what happens and I still let you come in me like we were nineteen and stupid.”

“It’s not your fault.” I take her hands. “This is not just on you. I’m going to the pharmacy, it’ll be okay. Don’t spiral until I’m back. Please.”

She nods. Barely.

The twenty-four-hour pharmacy is twelve minutes away if I don’t hit lights. I hit every single one and still make it in ten, standing under fluorescent lighting with sex still on my skin, buying emergency contraception like I’m nineteen again.

She’s sitting on the edge of the bed when I get back in. In sweatpants and a tank top now.

I hold out the bag.

She takes it without a word, disappears into the bathroom again. There’s a long silence except the sound of running water. I strip back down to nothing and crawl into bed.

Then the door opens and she leans in the frame, swallowing, eyes red.

“I should have said something before,” she says to the floor. “I was just thinking that I needed to remind you about condoms, but then you were inside me and I didn’t stop you.”

“That’s on me too.” My voice is rough. “I didn’t ask. I wanted you so bad I forgot to not just assume you’d be okay with that.”

“You want more kids.” She whispers, still not meeting my eyes.