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“But…?”

She makes a face, waving her hand like she’s trying to find the right words. “But the sex is…meh. And his dick is small. Like, noticeably small. I keep trying to make it work, but it’s just not happening. Couple nights ago I was on top and I was like…is it in? Looked down, yep. It was in.”

I nearly choke on my drink. “Jamie!”

“What? I’m not being mean, I’m being honest!” Jamie’s laughing now, the kind of breathless, tipsy laugh that makes her shoulders shake and her wine slosh dangerously close to the rim of her glass.

I roll my eyes but I’m grinning too, the wine loosening everything. “At least you’re getting laid. I haven’t had company from anything that’s not rechargeable since before Theo was born.”

Jamie sits up straighter, eyes wide like I just told her the moon is fake. “You really haven’t been with anyone since Simon?”

“Nope.” I pop the p and take another long sip from my glass. “I’ve thought about it over the years, but I just can’t imagine even enjoying sex with anyone.”

“Maybe you just don’t have a high sex drive?” she offers, tilting her head.

I burst out laughing so hard I have to set my drink down on the coffee table. “No, I definitely do. I own enough sex toys to start my own shop. I just can’t seem to get a desire for another man. Like even Johnathon was hot, but I didn’t have any desire to fuck him.”

Jamie cocks her head. “What about for Simon?”

The wine pushes the words out before I can stop them. “I can’t seem to stop wanting to fuck him. I’m sure there’s a direct correlation between custody exchange days and the frequency in which I masturbate.

We both burst out laughing, the kind of unrestrained laughter that only comes when two women are a full bottle of wine deep into a night.

She wipes at her eyes and collects herself before saying, “I’ve always wanted to ask…”

I groan, already knowing where this is headed. “Oh god, here we go.”

“How was sex with him? He’s built like a truck and hot as hell. He looks like he’d be great in bed.”

I snort into my drink. “That’s what everyone thinks! He was…fine. Good. It’s just that his dick is so big and at first he had zero clue what to do with it. I was a virgin, so the whole thing was just awkward as hell. We eventually made it work and he started improving.”

“I KNEW he had to be fucking hunnngggg,” she says with exaggeration, drawing the word out like she’s savoring it. “He’s too damn big to not have a third leg swinging.”

I chuckle at her description, feeling my cheeks flush. “He’s definitely blessed. And he’s a battering ram about it. Not gentle at all.”

She laughs so hard she snorts, slapping a hand over her mouth. “And that didn’t scare you off?”

“Nah, I kinda liked it, once we figured out how sex worked.” I take a swig. “Great with his hands too. No complaints there. Like, the man could make me see stars with just his fingers. Never had a learning curve there.”

She wipes tears from her eyes, still giggling. “Okay but surely he’s probably better now? Had a few years of whoring himself out to practice.”

I shrug, forcing a smile even though the thought of Simon with anyone else makes me want to throw up. “I guess.”

The mention of him pulls at something I’ve kept locked away for years.

His tattoo.

That stupid, impulsive thing he got right after receiving his first set of orders. He hadn’t even warned me. One night we’re messing around and suddenly there it is—my name in delicate cursive script, inked just above his dick like some kind of brand. He’d had this whole speech ready, all sincere and intense, about how I didn’t need to worry while he was gone. How his dick was mine and mine alone, and no other woman would ever touch it.

Barely a year later, he ended things without a real explanation.

I haven’t let myself think about that tattoo much since. Between the shock of the breakup, the pregnancy, and then raising Theo, there just wasn’t room. I always assumed he’d gotten it covered up by now. I can’t imagine Veronica—or any woman—being thrilled about her boyfriend walking around with his ex’s name stamped on his body like that.

Jamie must sense the shift in my mood because she tilts her head and quickly changes the subject, her voice lighter and deliberately upbeat. “You almost ready to go out? First rounds on me.”

I throw another smile on my face and nod eagerly, maybe a little too eagerly. “Totally. I need something stronger.”

Jamie hops off the bathroom counter and goes to grab her purse off her bed. “That’s the spirit. Let’s get you out of this apartment before you start overthinking again. We can go get drunk and watch frat boys with fake IDs hit on girls dressed as slutty cats.”