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My phone stays pressed against my ear for another few seconds before I finally lower it.

This is what I signed up for. This is the kind of job I wanted when I joined. My job means something, it saves people. It keeps my country safe.

Doesn't mean I don't fucking hate it sometimes.

I rub both hands over my face and stand.

When I turn, Blaire is already in the doorway. Theo is on her hip, one arm looped around her neck. Apparently he finally noticed I'd been gone too long.

Blaire's face is pale. “Simon?”

I swallow again. “I've gotta go in.”

Her arms tighten around Theo. “What does that mean?”

“Emergency deployment.”

She doesn't move.

“They need me on base in three hours.”

Her eyes widen. “Three hours?”

Theo looks between us. “You going to work?”

My chest fucking hurts. “Yeah, buddy.”

“Why?”

“Daddy has to go help with something.”

He frowns. “But we're wrapping.”

“I know.”

Blaire presses her lips together. “How long?”

“I don't know yet. It's intel.”

I see the fear flash across her face and immediately reach for her, pulling both her and Theo into my arms.

“Hey. No. Don't do that.”

“Don't do what?”

“That thing you're doing.” I press my lips to her temple and let them linger.

“What thing?”

“Planning my funeral in your head. It's an intel run. Those are usually short, remember?”

“How short will this one be?” She adjusts Theo from one hip to the other.

“Last one was two weeks. Maybe this one will be shorter. Everyone else will want to rush home for the holidays too.”

She doesn't look reassured.

“Come on.” I kiss her forehead and step around them. “I've gotta pack.”