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“Exactly, hence the need for us to go shopping.”
There’s no convincing them to change their mind, and Matiu is right, I am an omega, and do desire to be given gifts, so I kiss them both goodbye and sit with Barry on the deck, watching them leave in Scott’s truck.
The quiet gives me a chance to catch up on some of the more mundane things. I tackle the pile of dirty washing I’ve ignored for the last three days, empty the dishwasher, and even vacuum both levels of the house.
When I’m done procrastinating, I do the one thing I’m actually supposed to do, breathing a sigh of relief when I open my emails on my laptop and see the confirmation of my cancelled flights sitting there in my inbox. I spend the next bit ticking a few more things on my to-do list, like cancelling my gym membership back home, feeling immensely pleased with myself that I managed to do that so soon so that I won’t be paying for unused weeks in the new year. I even send my sister another message, including a photo of Barry sleeping under the Christmas tree. She replies almost immediately.
Katie
That tree looks so sad.
Cute dog, though.
I roll my eyes. She can never just be happy for me without making some sort of comment.
It’s vintage from Scott’s childhood.
Barry is adorable.
He’s such a good dog.
Unsurprisingly, I get no further replies. Sometimes I wonder if my family would ever reach out if I just stopped messaging them, or would I just fade away in their minds? Barry, who seems to have a sixth sense when it comes to these dark thoughts of mine, pads across the worn carpet and shoves his head in my lap, looking up at me with puppy dog eyes.
“I’m fine,” I laugh, scratching behind his ear. “It’s the hormones talking, I always get like this before a heat.”
He lets out a huff of air, sighing like a human, and even though I know exactly what he’s doing I fall right into his trap anyway. “Shall we go for a walk?”
The change in him is so comical that I snort with laughter at his antics. He bounds across the room, returning with his lead in his mouth, and I plant a kiss on the top of his head. “You’re a wonderful dog,” I tell him, rising to my feet, the word best burning on my tongue. He’s so lovely, but as silly as it is, I can’t quite bring myself to crown him the best, not when it’s what I used to say to Coco.
I flick the guys a quick message, smiling when I see they’re on their way back.
Matiu
We’re heading home now, see you in thirty mins
See you soon, taking Barry for a walk down to the beach now
“Oh damn, it’s out of battery,” I tell Barry, as if he cares. I manage to connect my phone to the charger in the kitchen just in time, 1% flashing on the screen. I leave it there, and step onto the deck where Barry is waiting for me.
“How many sticks do you think you'll collect today?” I ask him, eyeing the pile he’s hoarded by the front door as I slip on my new pair of flip-flops. “Your dad is an enabler, you know that?”
He lets out a low wuff, and we get on our way. I keep him on the lead as we trek down the path that winds its way through the bush to the beach, letting him run free once we reach the sand. He takes off, sprinting for the far end where there's a flock of seagulls he can terrorise.
I walk the empty beach slowly, gathering my own little hoard of spiral shells in my hand and tossing Barry the occasional stick when he runs my way. I’m down the far end, near Bob’s path, when Barry begins to ignore the sticks I throw for him.
“Why are you so picky all of a sudden? You want this one instead?” I choose one that looks perfect for a dog and wave it in the air. “Come on! Come get it!”
He doesn’t take the bait, and when I toss it, he stands unmoving, his tail held low, even as it lands at his feet.
“Barry.” I’m beginning to get worried, his behaviour such a change from usual until he creeps forward, maintaining an intense stare, and it clicks. “Are you herding me?”
He is, moving slowly, pausing every few steps as if I’m some flighty animal. I make a move to bypass him on his right and he darts in front of me, blocking my path, determined not to let me go any further.
“Barry, we’re almost at the end! I want to touch the cliff! Come on.” I take a step forward but so does he, and I can tell he’s serious. I don’t want to push him, though I have no idea what’s come over him. “Barry, come,” I say, trying to emulate Scott’s dominant tone. He remains unmoving. “I’m not a sheep!”
I’m not a sheep, but I am an omega. A cramp, far worse than any I've had so far on this trip, hits me out of nowhere, coupled with a heavy gush of slick. My hands fly to my belly, and I crumple to my knees in the sand, unable to hold back my whine.
I’m not the only one whining. Barry nudges me with his wet nose, crying, and I press my face to his fur, leaning on him as another horrific cramp takes hold.
