Page 37 of Play With Me

Best Bear

Or you could just get the shits during the toast and become a legend

I know Will didn’t actually expect me to fake sick at the ball itself, but I was surprised he wasn’t taking the offered out. I felt like the local Peeping Tom being invited to his pool party. Was I the one making this awkward? Will had clearly moved on. He was hooking up with Nathalie, and I’d shown my ass in the worst way. To him, maybe this was just two friends going out with the group, while I was over here sweating like a whore in church.

Any armchair expert would instantly diagnose me with a classic case of “Didn’t Want It Until She Couldn’t Have It.” I wouldn’t blame them, and maybe they’d be right. I didn’t trust myself when it came to Will anymore.

Except.

There was never a time I didn’t want Will at all, from the moment I met him. It started out fun and cute, and then the reasons and ways I wanted him piled up, and it became painful and felt like I was fucking drowning.

What is it, Doctor?

It’s your vagina. Apparently, it’s formed a filiform appendage that is now entwining around your myocardium. I’m sorry, Ms. Ford. It’s terminal.

Jaimie was not just New York pretty; he was also a magician. I mean that literally (not great to find out after I insulted illusionists wholesale) and metaphorically when it came to hair and makeup.

At one point, he was massaging some kind of oil into my eyebrows with his thumbs, pushing them up and out toward my temples, and it felt so luxurious that I asked him if we could be best friends. He turned me down but was so nice about it that I legitimately felt better about myself afterward than I did before.

Then Hassi walked in and kissed my head, and Rachel gave me a mani/pedi in a forest green polish while Jaimie brushed out my curls. I purred like a beloved cat on a fancy bed.

Rachel was helping Marisol sew a bra into her dress, so I orchestrated a conversation between Hasan and Jaimie, and promptly locked myself in Christian’s office before I started instituting mandatory friendships. I wandered his bookshelf—an absolute treasure trove of photos, many of which included Will.

Ortiz and Will with shaved heads and ears they still hadn’t grown into catching the light behind them. Christian and Marisol kissing at the altar and Will behind the groom, red-rimmed eyes and a wide smile.

I reset an unframed photo that had fallen flat.

A group of men in camis sitting on sandbags in the desert, squinting at the camera, and Will with a radio in his hands and a cigarette between his fingers.

When he spoke about his job, Will never played the hero like a lot of military guys I knew. He said it was a lot of driving in sand. Less shooting guns and more shooting the shit with dudes from towns you’ve never heard of.

I wondered what he must be feeling with his deployment date fast-approaching. Have I lost the right to ask? My ribs felt tight. He’d leave, and life here would just go on without him. Why does that feel so fucking sad?

I wiped my nose with my sweatshirt sleeve like a heathen and rejoined the crew, but the heartache that infected me by the bookshelf had permeated my system. Like the chicken pox virus, just waiting to level me with shingles.

I felt a little lighter after Jaimie applied my makeup, and by the time he’d packed up his bag of tricks, I’d had two glasses of champagne, and it was heartache schmartache, let’s get drunk.

In a cream Grecian gown, Marisol looked like a contoured-to-perfection fertility goddess, with spiral curls to complement her natural glow. And on me, Jaimie had bestowed the whole vintage glam package with big curls, red lips, and winged eyes.

I didn’t particularly like the gold dress Rachel brought me, but it fit, and it wasn’t revealing, which was all I cared about. It was form-fitting, open-backed, with long sleeves and a high neckline. Even though I had to go braless, I knew I wouldn’t be on the receiving end of any disapproving looks from Marine Corps Daddies, or be mistaken for an escort.

Christian’s face when he came upstairs to retrieve his wife will go down as one of the most adorable things I’ve ever seen in my life. The love that flowed between them was such a strong presence that I felt like I needed to give it its own space. I backed out of the room and texted Will.

I’m bedazzled and ready to NOT embarrass you. Are you coming to pick me up or have you planned a Josie Grossie egged from the limo before prom scenario?

If it’s the latter, don’t tell me for max emotional return

Best Bear

I’m already in the garage with the door down and the engine running. Looking forward to tonight!

I snort-laughed on the landing at the top of the stairs. This fuckin’ guy!

Restraint Required