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He pulls me tighter to him. “I love you too, Sunshine. Always.”

Carson

Joey and Melissa’s graves are neatly maintained. I sit down on the grass, wiping my sweaty palms on my pants. “Hi guys, sorry I haven’t visited before. This past year has been a whirlwind of emotions. It took me a while to get closure. Your death took a big toll on me.” I place the fresh flowers on their grave.

“A lot has happened since you’ve been gone. I’m sure the other have talked to you about it. I met someone. We started dating recently, but I already know I’m going to marry her. She’s the best thing that ever happened to me. I don’t know what I would have done without her.

She brings out the best parts of me. She’s so gentle and understanding. She always listens and comforts me when I’m having a bad day. My mom and dad adore her. Mom is glad to finally have a girl in the house. They have gone shopping so many times. Dad thinks she is a badass. He wants her to teach him how to fight. Colton calls her his best friend. He wants to hang out with her every day. I wish you guys would have met her. You would have loved her. Connor and Killian had been hiding something for months, but for them to tell you, trust me, it’s going to shock you.”

I lean back against the tree. It all feels so final seeing their graves, knowing that they’re really dead.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t save you. I have been coming to terms with the fact that it wasn’t my fault, that there was nothing I could have done. You were just at the wrong place at the wrong time. I promise I’ll visit more often.” I stand up, brush off the loose blades of grass, and whisper, “Thank you for being such role models for me. I will do everything in my power to make you proud.”

Epilogue

Carson

“Hey buddy, happy birthday.” I sit down on the finished wooden bench, a few feet away from Micah’s grave, which is littered with more Mickey Mouse toys than there have ever been.

I place the plate of the chocolate birthday cake on the grass. “I didn’t know if you liked cake, so I picked chocolate. I mean, who doesn’t like chocolate cake?”

Alexis didn’t, but I knew that, so I made her a strawberry one, which is still in the fridge. I snuck out when she was still sleeping. She’s planning on finishing by visiting her brother later today, but I wanted to be first so I could decorate it for their birthday. I hang the garland across his grave and blow up the number balloons. It’s the first time Alexis will celebrate her birthday, and I wanted to make it memorable.

Since it’s not just her birthday but Micah’s too, I wanted to make sure he would have the best birthday. He might not be here to celebrate, but it’s still his birthday. “Your sister is still sleeping,” I chuckle. In the past few months, Alexis still hasn’t become a morning person, but I love that she likes sleeping in. It gives me time to make her breakfast.

“She’s coming to visit you later today to celebrate your birthday together. She is really excited. I told her about my plans for today, and she almost cried out of joy. She doesn’t know I’m here, that I’m getting you ready for your birthday, but you’re a part of our family. You should be celebrated too. I know Alexis will, but I wanted her to know that I didn’t forget about you. My parents may be coming over too. My mom said she found this antique Mickey Mouse toy that she wanted to give you, and my dad wanted to talk to you about the latest baseball news. He thought you would like to know. Asher is visiting too. He got time off from work. He said that he got you several things, but I can’t tell you the details yet. He wants it to be a surprise. And of course your sister got you things too. She had bags full of stuff she found. She was so excited to show me but wouldn’t until she gave them to you.”

I built him another Mickey Mouse LEGO set, which is surrounded by all the other I’ve already made. My dad and I hand-built the wooden bench. It took us weeks of measuring and carving. I wanted it to be perfect. We started over several times until I was sure it was prefect.

“I’m going to head home to Alexis. We’ll be back in a few hours. We will sing you a song, but I hope you’re covering your ears. I love your sister to death, but she’s a horrible singer. She always sings in the shower, but I don’t tell her it’s awful. She looks so happy doing it, and if she’s happy, I’m happy.” I pat his grave stone, rearrange the flowers, giving his beautifully decorated grave one last look, then head over to my car.

The whole family is standing in Alexis her living room when I get back home. The walls are decorated with garlands, the same ones that are at Micah’s grave. There are dozens of balloons covering the entire room. Colton is shrieking in joy as Killian lets one float away.

“Uncle Cars, look. Balloons!” He rushes over to me, clinging to my legs, smiling up at me. “I see, buddy. Did you help Killie blow them up?”

He nods enthusiastically. “Yeah, Daddy too.” I look over at my brother who’s helping our dad hang them up. He winks when he meets my eyes. I shake my head and walk over to my mother.

“Where did you leave my present?”

She stares at the staircase, then whispers, “In the shed.”

I nod. I got Alexis something she wanted for ages. She would look up pictures in bed, talking about how much she wanted one.

The meowing greets me as I open the door.

A small black cat is lying in his basket. He stands when he sees me. He’s a rescue. I found him in a shelter a few towns further on. They think he’s approximately two years old. His past owners abandoned him at the side of the street.

It was love at first sight. I knew Alexis would love him and give him the best home he can have. When I told my family my plan, they went shopping. They got him everything he could need. He already has more toys than I ever had as a kid.

I cradle him to my chest and walk over to the kitchen when soft footsteps patter against the wooden stairs. Everyone turns around, meeting my eye. I nod, signaling for them to be quiet. “Cars, where are you?” I hold my breath in anticipation.

“In the kitchen,” I reply.

She turns around the corner. Her mouth drops open in shock.

“Happy birthday!” We all say in unison.

“What—I…How?”