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“You like her,” Kill states as he sits beside me at the dinner table. I shift my focus from Alexis, who is working on a puzzle with my mother, to Killian. I can hear the faint sound of the shower running, and my father’s mumbles coming from upstairs. “No, I don’t. She’s my friend.”

“A friend? Buddy, you’re my friend, but I definitely don’t look at you the way you look at her.” I ignore his statement and watch Alexis again. She notices my stare and gives me a quick wave. My lips tilt up as I wave back.

“So that means I have free rein then? Maybe I’ll ask her o—“

I fist his shirt pulling him to me. “Don’t even think about it.”

He smirks. “So she’s more than a friend then?”

“It’s none of your business. Just stay away from her,” I say harshly.

He smiles smugly straightening his shirt. “That’s what I thought. Carson has a little crush.”

I slap his arm. Hard. “Shut your idiot mouth.”

Alexis and I had been growing closer and closer over the past few days. We had already established a great friendship, but we had grown even closer after the day at the beach. I’m so thankful for her generosity. I sleep fully through the night when I’m on her couch. I’ve been brainstorming ideas of how I could make it up to her. I already have a few ideas, but I’m starting small for now, like a homemade breakfast. Ever since the night she had collapsed in my arms crying, we had talked. A lot. Mostly about lighter topics, like some of her favorite things. She told me what she liked to have for breakfast, so I made sure it was ready for her when she woke up.

“Cars, bud, I’m not blind. I see what everyone but Alexis sees. You like her.” Killian bumps his shoulder against mine.

“There is nothing wrong with liking her, you know.”

I know that. She’s perfect in the way she cares for me even though she hasn’t known me for long. I’m sure most women would run away when their neighbor has trouble sleeping, and can only sleep when you’re near. I would probably get a restraining order. But she lets me fall asleep next to her every night. And tucks me in so I won’t get cold. Killian is right. I like her. I like being near her. I like it when my phone lights up with her name. Or how I wake up every day neatly tucked in. The way she smiles when she sees I’ve made her breakfast in the morning. How her eyes twinkle in the sunlight. I think I have liked her from the first day we met, but I didn’t realize it yet. I had never liked someone before, so I had no idea what it felt like. But I’m sure now, the thoughts I have had about her are definitely not friendly.

And they’re not even sexual thoughts, but I keep wondering what it would be like to share her bed, or to wake up cuddled together.

I like everything about her, but she doesn’t know that, and I won’t tell her. Not yet. I want to be there for her, be someone for her to lean on. I know it can’t be easy to move here, with her brother’s murder still unsolved. She hasn’t told me much about her brother or how she’s dealing with everything, but I know she’s suffering. The light in her eyes dims every time she stares at her brother’s picture. She still hasn’t been to Micah’s grave yet. But I’ll be here when she’s ready to open her heart. Until then, I’ll wait patiently and try to help her live the life she couldn’t live growing up. That’s also the reason why I brought her a brand new bike. I ordered it the same night she told me she had never ridden a bike before. I’ll teach her. I’ll teach her all the things she could never do if she lets me, of course. “Like I said. She’s my friend.” Killian narrows his eyes.

“Cars!” I turn towards the voice, my heart stuttering faster in my chest. “You were so cute,” Alexis says, smiling, holding a baby picture of me.

Oh god. The puzzle they were working on lies abandoned on the table. My mother holds a familiar album on her lap. I sit down on the couch next to Alexis. She takes over the album and flips through the pictures, grinning while I’m dying of embarrassment. I lean in closer, our bare arms touching. Sparks ignite in my chest.

“Mom, have you seen Colton his dummy?” Connor exits the stairs holding his son with one arm. Colton is dressed in his favorite Cars pajama, his thumb in his mouth. When he sees me, he wiggles in his father’s embrace. He takes off running the moment he touches the floor. At first, I think he’s running towards me. I open my arms ready for him to jump. But instead, he runs past me and into Killian’s embrace. “Killie!” he squeals, throwing his arms around Killian’s neck. “We play cars?” he asks excitedly, squeezing Killian’s cheeks with his small hands. “I’m sorry, buddy…” Killian trails off, glancing at my brother before continuing, “It’s bedtime.” Colton pouts, burrowing his head in Killian’s shoulder. “Is been so long.” Killian swallows hard, a sneer on his face before he quickly smooths it out. “I know, buddy. I’m sorry.” I had no idea they played together. Killian used to visit when Colton was a baby, but I haven’t seen them interact at all, and especially not since Killian and my brother had that falling out. Killian asks about him sometimes, but other than that I have never seen them together.

“Killie can come play another time…” Connor pauses and stares at Killian. “Right?” My best friend doesn’t respond instead his whole body freezes.

He cradles Colton closer as if he might disappear. “Please, Killie?” Colton begs, his bottom lip jutting out. “We can play another time,” Killian promises, pressing one last kiss on Colton’s head before lowering him to the ground. Connor’s body sags, his eyes shining with…relief?

I really wish they would tell me what happened.

My mom walks in with the dummy in her hand. Connor gives Killian one last look and walks up the stairs. A warm hand touches my upper thigh. Alexis glances at me, her head tilted sideways. “Did something happen between them?”

“I don’t know,” I confess. “They have always been good friends, but something happened between them a few months ago, and they haven’t talked ever since.” She hums, tapping her fingers against my thigh, then places the photo album on the table, next to my mother’s puzzle. I grab the remote, scrolling through movies when I see the one I want. Forrest Gump. Alexis grins knowingly, rubbing her hands together in glee. As she starts talking excitedly, I can feel my eyelids grow heavy. Her voice softens with the minute, and my body moves on its own. I hum tiredly, lying on my side. Something is running through my hair. Fingers, I realize—Alexis’s fingers. I groan softly. My body melts underneath her touch. She stops, her fingers leaving my hair. “Don’t stop,” I plead, closing my eyes as her fingers run through my hair again. I hear familiar voices, but they sound far away, as if someone is whispering on the other side of the room. Then.

“Sleep, Cars. You’re safe.” And so I do, surrounded by my family, my best friend. And my Sunshine.

I shouldn’t have built that lounge chair. Because fuck, Alexis looks good lying on it. She’s wearing the same bikini she wore at the beach. Her hair is down, framing her face, which annoys her since she keeps blowing it away. I avert my eyes. I don’t want her to think I’m standing here like a creep. She had woken me up at my parents’ place. I still remember how it felt when she ran her fingers through my hair. The strands were all tousled up, but I didn’t care. I would rather have messy hair than not have her play with it. She drove us home since I was too exhausted. I was out cold again the moment my head hit the pillow. I could vaguely remember how she covered me with the blanket, brushed my hair off my forehead, and wished me goodnight. The next morning I noticed her favorite vase was empty, so I bought a flower bouquet after work.

No clue if friends buy each other flowers, but she was extremely happy and had given me a quick hug. I stood there like a complete fool, my body still like a statue. It had taken me a few seconds to come to my senses that she was hugging me. I had wrapped my arms tightly around her, my head on top of hers. The hug lasted only about ten seconds, but they were ten of the best seconds of my life. “Cars!” Alexis yells with a beautiful smile on her face as she waves me over. “Come here!” I take a deep breath, keeping my eyes down, staring intensely at the blades of grass, walking towards her, she chuckles. “You really are a gentleman, are you? I meet her eyes. She pushes her sunglasses up so they are resting on her head.

“I don’t want you to think I’m a creep.”

She laughs again. “You a creep? You’re like the best mannered man I know.” She cocks her head. “Apart from the times you wanted to commit murder.” I still want to do that. Those men deserve nothing but agony. She shoots up as if she suddenly remembers something. “Wait. I got you something.” She runs inside. I keep my eyes focused on the grass. She returns after a few seconds.

“I made you something. If you don’t like it, just say so, and I’ll keep it elsewhere.”

“I like anything you make.”

She crosses her arms across her chest with a raised eyebrow, then hands me a piece of paper, I turn it around. My hands shake when I see what it is. It’s a family portrait of Joey and Melissa, with an older Colton.