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Mine has scars on the inside—self-inflicted.

But I’m in control now.

There’s no reason to worry.

Too late, I realize I’m clutching my own arm like he punched me.

“Was that Luke you were beating the shit out of?”

I shake my head and reach for my water bottle.

Wish it was.

“When are you gonna greenlight that piece of shit already? He’s overdue. Instead, you hide in the West Village pretending nothing happened.”

“I’m not hiding,” I say, taking a few long gulps.

“Oh really? You’re living a life you don’t even want—all because of that asshole Luke!”

Levi’s right, but I can’t put all the blame on Luke. Mostly I blame Jerry for turning me into this. Luke just had to push a few buttons to show me how weak I really am.

I crush the plastic bottle in my hand and grit my teeth.

All because of Jerry.

“You know, if you’d actually talk about what happened last year, I could help you.”

“You can’t help me.” I avoid looking at him.

“Jesus, Koh! You’re a dentist, not a fucking dog walker! Tell me why you’re not fighting for your practice!”

“Stop.” I pretend to be busy as I stuff the bottle into my bag and start unwrapping my hands.

“That’s your practice. Those are your patients.”

I still haven’t told my family that the lease is in Luke’s name. All I own are the equipment and furniture inside.

I’m too ashamed to even say it out loud.

“You know I can make it look like an accident. Just say the word when you’re ready.”

“It’s not Luke,” I snap, hoping to end the conversation.

Levi narrows his eyes suspiciously. He has that laser stare that sometimes sees straight through me.

“Jerry,” he growls. “Goddamn it, Koh! You need to move on!” He throws his hands up. “What you’re doing to yourself isn’t healthy. You get that, right?” He points at his own arm.

Ever since Jerry, cutting gave me a sense of calm and control. My family was horrified when they found out. That was around the time Levi started acting like the big brother.

I got it under control for a while, but Luke messed me up so badly I didn’t know what was real anymore.

My own blood.

And the pain.

Both felt real.

Only after I left Luke did the wounds heal. I found safety in my simple, routine life. Then Aran Graves got out and blew it all up.