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José didn’t say anything.
“I talked to Carol,” Andrej continued. “She thinks we should have a backup too.”
“We’re prepared for everything,” José snapped. “You’re just scared! And as long as things don’t really get out of hand, there’s nothing Carol can do.”
“Not really out of hand?” Andrej repeated, widening his eyes. “Have you taken a good look at our guitarist? We’re going on tour, man! We’re running out of time!”
“You can’t kick him out. He brought you into the band.”
“You brought me into the band,” Andrej countered dryly.
“He and Tristan write the songs. Tristan needs him. He can’t go on tour without him. Not now. How do you think that’s going to work? It would be like the Rolling Stones without Keith Richards.”
Andrej smiled. “Oh, come on. Your brother’s good. He can handle it.”
“You don’t have the right.”
“José, I find it touching how you stand up for Leaf. But he’s on the path of self-destruction. No, scratch that. He’s already destroyed.”
“Leaf can handle it. He’s tough and has always managed to get back on his feet.”
Andrej flung his hands in frustration. “Come on! How blind can you be? This isn’t like the end of the last tour when he was coked out every night. This time it’s different! On Thursday, in the rehearsal room … he was completely off. If that doesn’t worry you, then …”
“It’s not Leaf I’m worried about!” José shouted, balling his fists. “It’s Tristan!”
“He can handle it,” Andrej replied nonchalantly.
“Tris can’t handle it,” José countered.
“At least he doesn't have a drug problem that could screw us over,” Andrej sneered. “We all know this is just a phase. Grief fades. But addiction? That’s a whole other beast. I don’t know, maybe hypnosis could help?”
José paused. The suggestion didn’t sound bad to him. He sighed, sank onto the couch, and sipped his water.
“Who put you in charge of looking after everyone?” Andrej asked, grabbing a beer from the fridge.
José raised his eyebrows in surprise.
“I mean, come on,” Andrej said casually. “You can’t split yourself in three. The solution you’re looking for might not be out there.”
“Coño, please, don’t start with that again.”
“What are you holding on to?”
“If you can’t see it, I wonder what you’re doing here.”
“Sure, I get it. But just because you guys grew up together doesn’t make what Leaf is doing okay.”
“I know it’s not okay, but you should know him well enough by now to know what he’s capable of. Just stop.”
“It’s not about his solos,” Andrej groaned, massaging the bridge of his nose.
José leaned his head back and stared at the ceiling. “God, I’m tired. And the tour hasn’t even started yet. How are we going to pull this off?”
“We won’t,” Andrej said irritably.
José shook his head, feeling lost. They were going in circles, and that was reason enough to light up a cigarette. He had wanted to save it for the evening, but right now, it was stress relief. He lit it and exhaled loudly, resting his head back against the sofa.
For a while, there was silence, and José noticed how the deep breathing calmed him. He quickly remembered that the effect would be even greater without the cigarette—something he had learned from the app he was using.
