Page 8

The sun still stood behind them, but soon they would be chasing after it. Westward. Back to the City of Angels.

3

–––––

Leaf

The sun relentlessly poured through the cracks in the wooden cabin, slicing through the smoke-filled room with its golden rays like spears. A dense fog of grass and tobacco hung in the stale air. Outside, the leaves of the trees rustled, yet the warm wind failed to disperse the pent-up heat.

Leaf sluggishly rolled onto his side and opened his eyes. His supplies were spread out and within reach on the coffee table. For days, he had been numbing himself in his cave, but his thoughts kept drifting back to the day that had changed everything.

A single gunshot, and before him appeared a gaping hole. The moment Tristan disappeared into it was seared into his brain. It had been too late to reach out for him, to grab him and hold him tight. Completely in shock, Tristan sat in the open police car, only physically present but lost in mind.

Leaf had been left behind.

Alone.

And then he had slipped away from the world.

Plunged headfirst into his own darkness.

Where he could numb himself.

Forget everything.

He would have preferred to dissolve into the intoxication.

The storm was brewing again. Like ghosts, images raced through his mind, stirring up the past that he had tried so hard to keep in the dark. His body tensed, trembled, his breath caught.

The effect wore off.

Dazed, he sat up and gasped for air. With a shaky hand, he reached for the half-full glass of Jack Daniel’s and downed it in one gulp. Then he poured another and lit a cigarette.

He was good at disappearing, but he couldn’t escape. The path he had chosen at least made Tristan’s absence bearable. But the fear he had been left with ate away at him internally.

Seeing no one. Speaking to no one. He had committed a sin. Only the drugs brought him relief, sometimes a fresh breeze that he gratefully inhaled. Afterward, he felt ashamed for allowing himself to feel carefree for a moment.

Accustomed to the darkness, he wondered how much longer he could endure it? Weary, he rubbed his face and ran his fingers through his long, greasy hair. A cough escaped his throat, and he took a swig from his drink, but it wasn’t enough. Placing the burning cigarette in the ashtray, he reached for a baggie with the sticky black lump. Forming small balls, he stuffed them into the glass pipe. Holding the lighter underneath, he took a deep hit of opium, the sweet white mist filling his lungs.

A pleasant heaviness settled over his body, and his muscles relaxed. He leaned back, blowing out the smoke, giving in to the intoxication. Flashes of light flickered in all colors before his eyes. The scent of lilac, lavender, and pine filled the air. Then he left his confined body and disappeared from the surface.

For an entire week, they had resembled ghosts, trapped in a reality that demanded they act like robots. The funeral had been a disaster. Tristan was a shadow of himself on two legs, barely able to stand upright. A whole day lost in the thickest fog.

When Tristan had vanished from the scene, Leaf realized this was only the beginning of something he felt responsible for. He had searched for the right words over and over again, but he had remained silent and had hated himself more with each passing day.

It wasn’t what Milo had taken with him, but what he had left behind. The great catastrophe. The void that had swallowed Tristan like a monster.

“Oh my God! What should we do?” Andrej panicked. “What about the tour? Do we need a replacement? Carol!”

“The tour will go on,” the manager said sternly. “There’s a lot of money at stake. Damn it! What was he thinking?”

They discussed finding replacement singers and guitarists, and brainstormed ways to keep the show running. Leaf let it wash over him, sitting dazed until he eventually toppled off the chair.

Since then, he had been busy erasing the past. Everything should disappear into thin air until the annoying ringing of the phone had pulled him out of the depths of his stupor.

“Leaf! Can you hear me?” Carol called, sounding breathless.

Leaf had placed the phone next to his ear and closed his eyes.