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Carol hesitated, staring at him in stunned silence. Before she could find words, Leaf stepped toward Tristan—who still hadn’t moved. He looked frozen, but Leaf could tell he was miles away, completely gone.

“Leaf. You’re here.” Relief tinged Tristan’s fragile voice.

“Take him home,” Andrej said. “I’ll deal with Carol and a lawyer.”

“This will spread like wildfire,” Leaf said, worried.

“We can’t do anything about that anymore. But I’m sure it will blow over eventually. I’ll put it on the list.”

“Come on.” Leaf led Tristan back to the elevator.

Fortunately, they didn’t have to wait long. As soon as the door closed and the Rooftop Bar disappeared, he hugged Tristan.

“Where did he …?” Tristan’s voice was nothing more than a whisper.

“Don’t think about it anymore.”

“That …”

Leaf took off Tristan’s sunglasses and caressed his cheek. “Breathe slowly in and out. Everything is fine.”

Tears gathered in Tristan’s eyes, and it almost tore Leaf’s heart apart to see him trembling all over.

21

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Other Thoughts

Tristan entered the dark cabin and stopped in front of the wall with the framed insects. Leaf’s home had always been a refuge when the past caught up with him, but at the moment, he felt none of that. His hands continued to shake as the image of his parents lying in dark red pools of blood replayed in his mind.

While Milo had found a different way to deal with it, just the thought of it made everything much worse for Tristan. Something tightened in his chest, as if his heart was crumbling into pieces like a brittle leaf. When nothing was left, he dropped on his knees, gasping for air.

“Tris,” Leaf whispered softly, his touch gentle on his shoulders. “What can I do?”

Tristan grimaced and fought back the tears. It wasn’t just Milo and his parents breaking his heart. It was Leaf. The only person left to him when it came to family.

“Why can’t things go back to how they were before? I love you, Leaf, but I don’t know what I need to do for you to let me back in.”

“I know that,” he murmured, as if confiding a secret. “I know you love me.”

“But since I’ve been back, you’ve been avoiding me. And then … Then something like that happens during the interview, and you rush in like a knight in shining armor to save me. I …” Tristan took a breath and locked eyes with Leaf, who was kneeling in front of him, gazing at him with a worried expression. “I miss you, Leaf.”

“I hate seeing you like this. When you’re scared or holding back tears.”

“You’re right,” Tristan said, wiping away a tear. “I’m scared. I’m fucking scared. All I wanted was to come back and show everyone that I’m okay, that I’m still alive. That Nightstalker’s fire is far from burning out, and we’re ready for this tour. I wanted to come back to you because … because I missed you. I thought if I came back to you, this feeling would go away, but instead, it just keeps growing bigger every day … and bigger …”

Tristan paused, stunned at his vulnerability. He sniffled and shook his head. “I want our love back. I want what we had before the world turned dark and dragged us down with it. Instead of holding each other up, we’re drifting further and further apart, and both of us are sinking—lonely and alone. Please,” Tristan pleaded, “I don’t want to be trapped in this place anymore.”

“Don’t do that. You don’t need to prove anything. Not to anyone. I’m here,” Leaf whispered. “I don’t want to sink. Not alone. And not with you.”

Tristan stared into Leaf’s dark brown eyes, silently begging for forgiveness. He didn’t know exactly for what, but having Leaf so close, sharing the heartache, and distracting him from his memories simply by his presence filled him with hope again.

He hesitantly leaned forward and kissed Leaf, as if kissing his friend for the first time. A tingling sensation ran through him, a cool shiver raising his hair despite the heat in the cabin.

Leaf sighed, breathing into his mouth. A chill flooded Tristan’s veins as Leaf turned away. He anxiously watched as Leaf licked his lips, brushed back his hair, and stood up.

For a moment, it felt like he had lost Leaf, as if his words had been nothing but empty promises. But then Leaf held out his hand and helped him to his feet.