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Leaf nodded, looking more serious than ever.

“Let’s rock!” Tristan shouted, and the others joined in.

As they dismantled, Leaf grabbed Tristan’s jaw and pulled his head toward him. He usually did that, but this time he kissed him on the mouth instead of the cheek.

For a moment, time stood still, and Tristan basked in Leaf’s warmth. A cold shiver ran through him as Leaf moved away, flashing a wide grin.

This guy …

José headed out first. Andrej followed right behind. Leaf was already on his way. Tristan adjusted the transmitter on his belt, put the in-ears on, and followed the guys through the dim hallway to the stage entrance.

The audience was already roaring with excitement as José sat behind the drums, took off his shoes, and cheered for Andrej. They applauded even louder as Leaf stepped onto the stage. Tristan waited, allowing the music to take the lead and fill the space it was meant to occupy.

José counted in, and they started playing. The song flooded the Whisky, eliciting shouts of joy from the crowd, and Tristan felt a weight lift off his heart. Already, the sound was better than at the release concert. Everything felt right. Or at least better than before.

With a pounding heart, he stepped onto the stage, into the bright spotlight, and stood in front of the microphone.

40

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Whisky a Go Go

The audience’s cheers were deafening. As Tristan placed his hand on the microphone, the sheer volume sent shivers down his spine. He took a deep breath and summoned the words that suddenly reappeared. Immersing himself in the rhythm, he merged with the music. As he swung the microphone toward him, he began to sing.

The words flowed out of him and formed melodies. Gone were the nervousness, the fear, and the tension. Tristan felt light, almost weightless, freed from all constraints. He was in a place where he could do anything—pushing aside the fact that it should have been suicide the last time.

Today, he felt good, almost at peace with himself, flooded by the spotlight as the music thundered out of the speakers with tremendous force and swept over the audience.

Tristan was electrified, his nerves on edge, and he let himself be carried away by the music. He was transformed; the person from before was gone. Now, he stood confidently, captivating the audience with small gestures, a gentle smile, and his words and poetry. It was easy for him to give the people what they had come for. When uncertainty stirred within him, he sought the gazes of his bandmates.

At times, he sang with great intensity, while at other times, his voice was soft and gentle. He poured his soul into every note, even pushing his voice to its limits until it cracked. All for the songs, for the audience, for the band. And for Leaf.

The applause felt good. It confirmed that his failure at the release concert had been forgiven. People sang along to the songs and never once made him doubt the new setlist.

Tristan felt at ease as he casually announced the next songs or raised his beer to toast with the audience. He was in control of what was happening because the time on stage belonged to them. Setting the pace, he was the captain. However, what he couldn’t control was his attraction to Leaf.

Tristan constantly sought Leaf’s proximity, but whenever he became aware of it, he created distance again. Leaf gave him a sly smile every time.

When Leaf gestured “I love you,” it threw Tristan off. The hand signal resembled the rocker sign, except he also extended his thumb—a quick and simple way to tell someone you love them.

How can he be so sweet?

Smiling, Tristan shook his head and tried to focus on the song again, but Leaf was like a magnet to him, always the center of his attention. It surprised Tristan that Leaf had no trouble keeping their relationship private, even when on drugs, considering how passionate he had been in the dressing room.

Totally hot.

Fuck, not now!

Think about something else.

Concentrate on the songs.

But after the seventh song, Tristan didn’t know what to say. He had never had trouble interacting with the audience before. He would often tell stories, recite poetry, or crack jokes. He had also intended to apologize to the audience for the release concert, but he couldn’t do any of it now. He was dominated by a single thought.

Leaf.

He wanted him. And he was tired of secrets. What was the harm in making it public? The press had been after them for weeks. It was a miracle they hadn’t uncovered their relationship yet. After all the shit they had been through …