Page 32

“What the hell just happened?” The words slipped out on a shaky breath. Lucian was still glaring at the now-empty space where he’d had the landlord cornered. “Lucian, are you okay?”

His haunted gaze flicked over to me, and I swore there was a tinge of red around his gray irises, but he squeezed his eyes shut before I could be sure. “I’ve got it. I just need a minute.” His strained answer resonated with some battle he was fighting, and my magic pressed against my ribs, reaching.

“Sure. Let’s go upstairs.” I keyed into the building and held the door open for him. He hesitated but eventually gave in, and I led him up to my apartment. Once inside, Lucian pulled out one of the chairs at the little dining table and sank into it. He leaned forward, elbows on his knees, and hands gripping his head.

“Luce.” I approached him with slow movements, very much aware of the danger I could be putting myself in. I didn’t know this man, didn’t know the demon he was struggling with right now, but my heart broke at his pain. It was all too familiar. My magic said we could ease it, and for the first time in my life, I wanted to let it lead. “Talk to me.”

He shook his head with jerky movements, his back heaving with distressed breaths as he worked himself up further. “I wanted to…I would have…”

“Hey.” I stepped closer to him, heart fluttering like a moth in a jar. “You did nothing wrong. It’s alright.”

Suddenly, he sat up straight and hit me with a gaze that stole the air from my lungs. I hadn’t been imagining it. His eyes were ringed with a band of deep crimson and swimming with panic.

“It’s not alright,” he said in a harsh whisper. “I’m a monster. I’ve hurt people. I wanted to kill that asshole. It would have been easy.”

I inched ever closer, standing between his spread knees. He straightened even more with a sharp inhale, but I didn’t back down. I was tired of being afraid. He needed this. Needed me.

“I’ve hurt people too,” I told him softly. “I ruined the boy who gave me my first kiss. I almost just murdered Margo in broad daylight. So we can be monsters together, okay? You don’t scare me.”

He tensed as I lifted my right hand, but didn’t pull away. Fear and yearning clashed in his beautiful eyes. “You don’t know what I am.”

“I know what you are,” I whispered, digging deep to find my bravery and giving myself over to Bel’s confidence that this was somehow meant to be. “You’re mine.”

I brushed my fingertips against his trembling jaw, and the world exploded in light and shadow. They spun together in a wild dance of perfect balance. Lucian grabbed my hand in his, interlacing our fingers like we might fly apart from the sheer force of it. Sparks crackled between our clasped palms, a current moving through us. It coursed over my skin, igniting every nerve, begging for more.

A silvery heartstring wove around him, soothing a darkness that he struggled to keep locked away, an exhausting war he waged day in and day out. It was a battle we could fight together now, trying to make peace with the monsters that lived inside. The tether between us settled; another piece of my soul returned home.

“Mine,” I murmured to him again. My magic echoed the sentiment, and I felt steadier than I ever have. “The rest you can tell me when you’re ready.”

Lucian was breathing hard, his eyes burning like twin stars. He separated our joined hands to hold mine against his chest, right over his heart. The pulse was solid and strong, thumping against his ribs in time with the beat of our new connection. It throbbed with dark desire and tight restraint.

“Fuck.” His arms snapped out, wrapping around my hips to pull me right up against him. He pressed his cheek to my stomach and shuddered while I dragged my nails through his cropped hair. My magic swelled, the newly tied heartstring flaring bright, and we clung to each other for a few minutes more while his choppy breathing calmed.

“Better?” I asked. He squeezed me once before his arms loosened, hands sliding to my waist. He moved me back a step, just enough so he could look up at me. His eyes were back to their soft smoke color, and I cradled his face between my palms. Everything was crazy, but everything was right.

“You’re not upset?” His forehead creased in a frown, vulnerability flashing in his gaze.

I looked back at this beautiful, broken man, feeling a certainty I never had before. I’d given my magic the wheel and made myself comfortable in the backseat, finally trusting that it knew where we were going. I leaned forward and pressed a kiss to the pucker between Lucian’s dark brows.

“No. A little confused, though. I’d love to know why all this is happening.” Something like remorse flickered over his face, and I rushed on. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m the luckiest girl alive. I thought I was going to be alone forever and then—” I was hit with the full realization that Lucian was not the first. He had to know that the same thing happened with Bellamy last night, right? Shit, maybe even Rami too. My stomach turned, and I flinched, heart lodged in my throat.

Did that make me a cheater?

“You know I…with Bellamy too and…” I swallowed hard. “Are you upset?”

Lucian rose to his full height, head and shoulders over me. His warm cologne of leather and spice invaded my senses, begging me to infuse that scent into my soul. He lowered his face to trail his nose up the side of my neck, nudging my head to a tilt to allow him better access.

“Not even a little,” he murmured, his tone husky. “There are quite a few things I’d like you to do with both of us.” My lungs emptied with a soft whimper. There was a rumbling sound deep in his chest, but I could feel the smile on his lips as he traced them over my skin, his touch hot on my waist. “Does that excite you?”

My eyes fluttered closed, and my thoughts melted. I couldn’t focus on anything past the idea of four hands and two mouths on my body. Lucian chuckled darkly, his warm breath raising goosebumps, before pressing one more kiss to my neck and forcing himself away from me. It looked like it took some effort.

“Tell me what happened today.”

I shivered a little at the loss of him, cheeks burning, and worked to redirect my thoughts. He’d short-circuited my brain, rewiring it to run on my, until recently, unrealized libido. I took a few steps to lean back against the counter and drew a shaky inhale.

“It wasn’t a big deal.”

He gave me a feral grin, showing off unusually sharp canines. “Come on, little fury. You mentioned murder. That sounds exciting.”