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How I was so fucking tired of not being known that I just wanted one fucking moment of holding something real. Something I wanted. Something that felt precious and true.

“Baby,” I whispered.

“What?”

“Why not, baby.” Whatever gave me the guts to say it out loud remained a mystery. But it was out there. I’d said it, and it was too late to take back.

Vaughn inhaled sharply, then made a warm, humming sound of understanding. “Is that it? You want to be my babygirl? Not her?”

I dropped my chin to my chest and blew out a breath before turning around and walking straight into his chest until my nose pressed against the rough stubble under his chin.

“Yes,” I finally admitted, my voice muffled against his soft shirt and solid frame. At least this way, I didn’t need to see the look on his face. The judgment or derision.

I didn’t know what the fuck was going on with me, why I was willing to humiliate myself with this man, but I knew without a doubt I wanted it.

I wanted it more than I wanted my pride, apparently.

Vaughn’s strong arms came around me and held me tightly, one hand moving up into my hair to cup the back of my head and keep my face pressed into him. “Mm. What a very good boy. Thank you for telling me that.”

He sounded sincere, not sarcastic. I exhaled a little.

“I like it when you tell me how you really feel,” he said, one large hand moving up and down my back while the other one stayed firm on the back of my head. “I like knowing you want me.”

I made a small sound of confirmation. I did want him. I wanted him so fucking much. I just wasn’t sure I wanted to want him. It was too… complicated. Too much. Too… lots of things.

“Do you need me to help you stop thinking, sweetheart?”

I exhaled a little more and felt my eyes smart. I nodded.

“Okay, but I have one condition.”

My muscles stiffened again, but I didn’t pull away. I was used to conditions. “What is it?”

“I need you to be honest with me. That’s a dealbreaker. So when we’re together like this, you cut the bullshit, okay? I can tell when you’re lying anyway, so don’t bother.”

I finally pulled back to look him in the eyes. “You can’t tell when I’m lying.”

He grinned, and fuck if he wasn’t the most beautiful human I’d ever seen. “Baby. Please.”

“How?” I asked, sniffling a little to clear my head now that the tension had broken between us. And maybe because the term of endearment had done something to me that was embarrassingly, horrifyingly… smushy.

He shook his head. “Nah. I think I’ll keep your cute little tells to myself for the time being. Now, take off your clothes.”

I glanced down at the hand I had tangled in the front of his shirt. “Um, I have a condition, too. If we’re doing conditions.”

His hand came up to tilt my chin up until I met his eyes. They were dancing like he already knew what I was going to say. “What’s your condition, princess?”

My cheeks were straight fire, but at this point, it was pretty much the only way he ever saw me anymore anyway. “I, uh. I don’t…” I stopped and huffed out a laugh.

This was ridiculous. It wasn’t a big deal. It was simply practical. And safety-conscious. I was an elite athlete whose body was worth a lot of money to Demere. “I need you to not… be, like…” I swallowed and forced the words out. “Fucking anyone else.” Another deep breath, and then, “That’s a dealbreaker for me, too.”

My knuckles were white where I clutched his shirt, like I was worried he’d start to pull away and I could keep him there with a handful of cotton knit.

Silence descended between us for a few beats before he said, “I don’t do exclusive.”

I pressed my lips together and nodded slowly. “Okay. Well.” My chest was so tight, I could barely get the air to speak, which made it hard to sound as unaffected as I would’ve liked. “I understand.”

I’d tried showing him who I was. I’d asked for what I wanted.