Page 54

Time passes. I think. Hard to tell. Everything blurs together. Sitting, standing, moving, lying down, all the same grey nothing stretching forever.

Hands touching mine. Warm. Small. Real.

I know it’s Lily even though I can’t see her face. I know her through the warmth in my chest. Through the thread connecting us.

She’s crying. I can hear it. Feel it.

I want to move. Want to squeeze her hands back. Want to tell her I’m here, I’m still here, I’m trying.

The pendant won’t let me.

Move. Move anything. Finger. Hand. Eye.

Nothing happens.

I’m a corpse that forgot to stop breathing.

Lily’s voice cuts through. Muffled but there.

Please come back.

I’m trying. God, I’m trying. But the cold won’t let me. The pendant won’t let me. Father’s magic wrapped around my mind like chains pulling me under.

Fight.

I push against the cold. Against the binding. Against everything holding me down.

For one moment, half a breath, I feel my finger twitch. Did it move? Did she feel it?

The pendant crushes down harder. Punishment for trying.

The moment passes. I sink back under.

Lily is still touching my hands. Still crying. I want to tell her something. What? What do I want to tell her? Can’t remember why anything matters anymore.

The thread in my chest burns hot. Insistent.

Right. She matters because of that. Because we’re connected. Because she’s⁠—

The pendant won’t let me hold the thought. It dissolves before I can fully form it.

More time passes. Someone else is in the room now. Male voice. Tired.

“What do we do now?”

Lily’s voice answered. Broken. “I don’t know.”

The thread pulses hot again.

Lily still believes I’m in here. Still believes I’m worth saving.

Maybe she’s wrong. Maybe the pendant already ate everything that mattered. Left just this awareness of my own emptiness. Maybe I’m already dead and just haven’t realized it yet.

The cold presses closer. I let it come.

It’s easier than fighting. Easier than carrying the weight of everyone who died because I couldn’t stop myself from being the weapon Father needed.

The thread burns hotter. Refusing to let me sink.