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“I’m fine.” I brushed off their concern, and even though they didn’t look convinced, they let it slide.

“Are you sure? I mean, did you want me to run up to the school and check on River?” Emmy offered, and I felt the tsunami of nausea rise again.

“River.” I gasped.

“Who’s River?” Cody asked.

I ignored his question. “I’ve gotta go,” I told them, breaking free of his grasp and rushing toward the kitchen. I needed to get my car keys and go. I’d already wasted enough time.

“Wait!” Cody’s voice cut through the murmurs of the diner. “You just passed out. You’re not driving.”

His hand wrapped around my elbow, steadying me.

“You don’t understand. I have to go,” I pleaded, not giving a shit who saw me or how ridiculous I looked.

“I’ll drive. You’re not getting behind the wheel.”

I didn’t have time to argue. “Emmy, can you …” I started to ask.

“Go. I’ve got this covered. Let me know how he is.” She shooed me out the door.

I don’t think my feet even touched the ground as I darted out the door, and Cody helped me into the front seat of his truck.

Once he was satisfied I was belted in, he rounded the hood and slid behind the wheel, backing out of the parking spot easily.

“Where am I headed?” he asked, his voice tight. The tension in the cab was thick enough you could’ve cut it with a knife.

“The playing fields behind the elementary school,” I answered, not offering anything more.

I knew I owed Cody an explanation, but right now, with my heart pounding and my head feeling like it was being squished in a vice with all my greatest fears threatening to drown me, it wasn’t the time. I’d never planned to keep River a secret, I’d just been selfish. For a few days, I got to be me. A woman. One who could have fun and be seen as something other than River’s mom or Sean’s widow. Stepping out of those roles, even if it was only for a minute, had given me something I hadn’t known I’d been looking for. I’d found me. Who I was. Who I wanted to be. And even if things changed, for a moment, I was someone Cody had wanted too.

Cody navigated the streets in silence, giving me a moment to collect myself. If something had happened to River … I didn’t even want to consider it.

We pulled up before I was ready.

Cody parked his truck, killed the engine, then reached for my hand. The moment his huge paw wrapped around mine, I sucked in a breath.

“He’ll be fine,” Cody choked out.

“You don’t know that,” I murmured.

“Tillie,” his voice softened.

I didn't have the emotional capacity to deal with this right now. “Let’s go,” I announced, reaching for the door.

The moment my feet touched the ground, I felt like I was going to vomit. Up ahead, I could see a group of people circling around. On trembling legs, I moved toward them. It wasn’t until I felt Cody’s firm grasp on my elbow that I remembered he was even there.

As we got closer, the crowd parted, and I saw River lying on the ground. My heart was in my throat.

“Mom!” River’s voice rang out, and I let out a choked sob.

Cody’s grip tightened.

I sank to my knees in the damp grass and reached for my son. “You’re okay?”

“My head hurts,” River replied, his fingers reaching up and touching the bump on his head.

“What happened?” I asked, looking up at River’s coach and teacher, who hovered nearby.