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Everyone mills around us, getting drinks of their own as conversation slowly starts to fill the aching silence and Emma pulls out trays of food she prepared for the wake, setting them out on the counter so folks can pick at it when they get hungry. Someone turns on Blaze’s favorite music, classic eighties rock, before turning it down a bit so we can all still talk to each other. With the threat from Warren still looming, it won’t be much of a party but Blaze and our love for him deserves to be acknowledged, even if it isn’t a total rager. Peeking over at Travis again, I sigh. He turns to look at me and holds out the bottle, asking if I want some, and I shake my head. I’m pretty sure he’s drinking enough for the both of us and if tonight is anything like the last four nights, I’ll have to take care of him and make sure he gets up to our bed. I watch him as he presses the bottle to his lips and tips it back again, chugging the liquor inside for a second before pulling it away with a wince.

“Hey,” I whisper and he turns to look at me again as I reach out and grab his hand. A ghost of a smile stretches across his face as he looks down at our joined hands before meeting my eyes again. “You know I’m here for you, right?”

He nods, his eyes clear for a brief moment but his smile falls away. “I know, Princess.”

I want to say more, tell him how worried I am about him as he raises the bottle to his lips again but our relationship has become such a balancing act, leaving me frozen on a tightrope because I’m too scared to move. What I want to do is pull him up to our room and confess my love for him, hoping that it’ll be enough to make him feel like he has someone to cling to as everything else rages around us but I’m not some naive little girl who thinks love can fix everything. And I’m certain that telling him the truth would only drive him away. Sighing, I squeeze his hand and turn to watch everyone else as Storm clears his throat and holds his drink in the air.

“To Blaze. He’s the reason this club exists, the reason we have this incredible family, and I know we’ll do whatever we can to honor him every single day we’re on this earth.”

A chorus of cheers rise up around us as everyone else lifts their glasses before taking a sip and I glance over at Travis as he chugs more of the whiskey, my brows knitting together as my stomach churns.

“To Storm,” someone else calls and I glance up as everyone raises their glasses again. Chance takes a step forward. “Our new president. It’s a hell of a job and you’re not taking over under ideal circumstances but we know you’ll kill it.”

Storm holds his hand up, shaking his head. “Hold up. We haven’t even fucking voted yet.”

“Well, let’s do it now then,” Chance says, turning to look at everyone as they nod in agreement. “If you want Storm as our new President, say yay and if you don’t, say nay.”

All of the brothers raise their glasses in the air and shout, “yay!” Storm shakes his head, looking around the room at all of them as Chance walks up to him and hands him something, whispering something only meant for Storm’s ears before he claps his shoulder. Storm stares down at the thing in his hand for a few seconds before looking up and clearing his throat, lifting his glass in another toast. Nix steps forward.

“Well, hell… if y’all are voting now, there’s something I’d like you to take into consideration.”

Storm nods. “What?”

“I, uh… I’ve been thinking a lot over the past four days… about family and legacy and I’d like to join… if y’all will have me,” he answers, wrapping his arm around Emma as she walks over to him and everyone stares at him in shock. One night about a week back, I asked Travis about the relationship between Nix and Blaze because there was some tension and it was impossible to miss. He informed me that they were thick as thieves when Nix was a kid but when Nix didn’t want to join the MC, a rift formed between them and they didn’t speak for years. Emma was actually the one that brought them back together and things were good until all of the stuff about Sarah, Tate’s mom, came out last year and they had been struggling to rebuild their relationship a second time.

“You sure about this?” Storm asks. “You’ve never wanted to be part of the club before.”

Nix nods. “Yeah, I am. Back then, the club was so different than it is now and this legacy, the one y’all have built in the last seven years, feels like something I’d be proud to carry on in my dad’s memory.”

“I suppose you’ll want the president patch,” Storm replies, shooting Nix a wry smile and he laughs, shaking his head as he takes a step back.

“Uh, no. I’ve already got plenty of kids to wrangle. Besides, Pops chose you for his VP, knowing that someday you’d take over for him. That’s the way it should be.”

Storm nods, running his hand through his hair as he looks out at his brothers. “This is highly unusual but let’s fucking vote, I guess. If you want to patch in Nix as a full member, say “yay” and if you don’t, say “nay”.”

“Yay!” Eight voices ring out together, all approving Nix’s entry into the club and people raise their glasses in a toast as Nix thanks them, looking proud as hell to be part of the club his dad built. When I think about all he’s lost in the last four days, he might be the one my heart hurts the most for. To lose your parent is horrendous, a soul-changing experience, but to lose your dad when you weren’t on good terms yet and knowing that you’ll never get a chance to make it right, it has to be so fucking hard. I turn to Travis again but the chair next to me is empty and I sigh as I look up, scanning the room. Finding him in the kitchen, I watch him slip out of the back door with the bottle of whiskey in his hand and sigh again as I stand up and go after him. Thankfully, no one stops me to talk as I work through the crowd and when I step outside, I cross my arms over my chest to ward off the chill that seems to settle into my bones.

Travis walks over to the chairs under the big oak tree in the middle of the yard before I take off after him, trying to think of something I could say to get him to open up to me. There is this distance between us right now that kills me and as much as I want to help him, I also miss him like fucking crazy. I want my Travis back. He hears me approaching and looks up, warmth in his gaze for just a second before it’s snuffed out by pain and he sighs, shaking his head as he takes another gulp of alcohol.

“Just go back inside, Rowan,” he slurs, his eyes glassy and I shake my head as I stop in front of him, step between his legs, and run my fingers through his hair.

“I’m not going anywhere.”

He sighs. “You shouldn’t be out here.”

“Neither should you,” I argue and he sighs again before grabbing my hand and pulling me down onto his lap. He wraps his arm around my waist, pulling me closer as he takes another sip of whiskey and I lay my head on his shoulder, looking out at the water with a sigh.

“Will you please talk to me?”

He shrugs. “What is there to say?”

“Come on,” I snap as I sit up and meet his eyes. “Don’t fucking give me that. You’re going through hell and everyone can see it so please talk to me.”

“What the fuck do you want me to tell you, Rowan? That it’s my fault Blaze is dead? That I should have done more to help him instead of just staring at him as he fucking died in front of me? That I’m motherfucking cursed?”

My brow furrows and my heart breaks. “What do you mean you’re cursed?”

“Just drop it,” he growls, lifting the bottle to his lips again but I yank it away before he can spill another drop of liquor down his throat. His lip curls back as his gaze snaps to mine and he reaches for the bottle again. “Give that to me.”

“No. What do you mean you’re cursed?”

His eyes meet mine, fierce and determined as I glare down at him, demanding an answer to my question but he refuses to give in. But I won’t either. Not when I know how much he needs me and he can get as angry as he fucking wants, he’s not going to drive me away, now or ever. He holds my glare and reaches for the bottle again but I keep it away from his grasp as I arch a brow, silently telling him to start talking but before he can, a scream rips through the air. It came from the direction of the house and we both jerk up, looking up at the back door. My heart jumps into my throat as possibilities run through my mind, possibilities of what fresh hell Warren has gifted us with for a second time today as Travis jumps up and sets me on my feet.

He glances back at me, grabs my hand and nods, letting me know that we’re going to run before he takes off toward the house, dragging me along behind him. My mind spins with horrid thoughts that I desperately wish I could push from my brain and my heart pounds against my ribs, a mixture of fear and exertion, as we reach the house. Travis rips the back door open and we step inside as every head snaps up to look at us.

“What is it?” Storm asks a sobbing Emma and she drops a card on the counter, her hands shaking, and that same haunted look in her eyes I saw on the day Blaze died. Lowering my gaze, I suck in a breath when I see the sympathy card sitting on the counter with a photo of all of us that day, surrounding Blaze as he slipped away and tears sting my eyes.

“What did it say, Em?” Moose asks and she shakes her head, gasping for air as she turns into her husband’s chest and he wraps his arms around her. I turn back to Storm as he drops the card back down on the counter and clenches his fists, looking up at all of us.

“Two down, three to go.”